Somewhere in the region of ten years ago, not long after marriage but well before the arrival of our children, Glenda and I decided we needed a cat. In so far as one ever needs an animal around the place we needed a cat. Perhaps as a counterfoil to the dog. Perhaps as a comforting presence on the windowsill. An urbane symbol of domesticity and settlement. But practically, rodent control was also a factor for consideration in a house beside a stable yard full of horses, full of horse feed and full of mice.
Friends in Newbridge had a litter of kittens delivered to them by their own queen.We went to visit and found four bundles of snotty matted taggly meowing catflu in our friends' kitchen."Pick the sickest one; You'll be able to treat it" said Glenda.We took home a jetblack Tom Kitten. We named him Ted. Our two dogs were Dougal and Jack. Around that time we also rehomed a terrier named Mrs Doyle. Dermot Morgan's bizarre TV show about the priests on Craggy island was popular in our house. Not least because our house itself with leaking roof, wind-tunnel corridors and telephone number heating bills resembled Fr Ted's parochial house in a field. Thus the black kitten became Ted.
Ted grew and thrived.He was the biggest young tom I had seen by the time he was a year old. After Neutering he grew even bigger. And being wormed regularly and fed sparingly he developed the sleek coat and body lines of a miniature cougar. He was allowed indoors rarely, perhaps at feeding time or on a particularly wet night. He curled up most nights in the stableblock with one or other of the horses and patrolled the loft above, ruthlessly maintaining it rodent-free.
He was regularly fed but hunted whether hungry or not. True to the independence of his species, he reserved the feral rights of his ancestors to come and go as he pleased. He would disappear for a day or two. Then reappear dragging a large dead rat, rabbit or misfortunate young bird. These he would drop at the back door.I regularly teased Glenda "He is doing you a favour- bringing you food. He feels sorry for you that you're not able to hunt for yourself". She fondly wrote "Ultimate Killing machine" in the space for "breed" on Ted's vaccination card. Though she was also conflicted.She felt a pang of sorrow at the feathered confetti he nonchalantly left as evidence. Proud that Ted kept our house and yard rat-free while appalled at his callous, sanguine approach to killing for fun. This was the dichotomy of nature. Feral cruelty alongside urbane hygiene in a species on the edge of domesticity.
The writer TS Eliot was a cat lover. But you dont have to love cats or admire them to respect them. Cats are a species of contradictions and retain some primeval mystery. The dog is man's best friend and in creeping close to stone age camps for warmth and food, formed an alliance with huntergather man which has endured the millenia. Cats were slower to trust, to be taken in. The cat is nobody's fool. Eliot's poem "the naming of cats" whimsically points out the elusive nature of cats "The naming of cats is a difficult matter, it isnt just one of your holiday games, you may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter, when I tell you a cat must at least have three names"... The meaning I take from Eliot's fun poem is that you may name a cat but you'll never really own one.
Ted disappeared early one winter a few years ago. We turfed him out after his supper to his regular night's hunting and that was the last we saw of him. Glenda blamed herself. He had wanted to stay in that night but as the mother of a sick baby which refused to sleep Ted was now a lower priority. I had also begun a boarding kennels at the surgery which I reckoned was a barking indignity to Ted's sensibilities. Ted had probably exercised his prerogative as a cat of means, by no means and hit the road. That winter we were plagued with mice and paid a pest control firm for the first time ever.
Last week,some three years since Ted was last seen,a new customer brought a chronically ill old neutered tomcat to me for treatment. His admittance forms and record card labelled him with some name which shall remain nameless and by which this lady client knew him. But I knew Ted and he knew me. He was in a critical state of viral infection, needed a battery of tests and IV fluids but I smiled as I explored his familiar ear scars and skin folds, knowing that Ted had come to the right place to have his new life,or the next one, saved. I also took my hat off to the poise, resourcefulness and self-mastery of a cat who finding himself in a life of barking stress and waning appreciation, had simply taken off to make a new life.
It is people and not cats who struggle to make new lives. Look around today at a jaded Ireland and see the human detritus of unravelled lifestyles. Some angry at lost business, collapsed equity or that collapsed house of cards. Others bewildered at lost identities, certainties, not to mention lost livelihoods. A feeling of being tossed out- like the cat on that cold winter night. Most of us are survivors. Some of us like the cat with nine lives, can reinvent, cope, move on. Those whose identity is wedded to a house, job, place or status will struggle.The hard part of coping with extreme change and upheaval is to retain an inner equilibrium of self,of moral compass, of identity and pride,of cherishing family and priority. And to shrug off lesser things before moving on. That's the trick of survival of the cat with nine lives.
When Ted came off the IV drip and gained some weight again I imagined I could see his inner equilibrium return.I called him Ted. His new owners called him something else. Glenda cried when she came to the surgery to see this surprise,the proud independent tom who had adopted a new family years ago and miles away. Like all cats he probably doesnt much care what anyone calls him. He knows who he is. A survivor. TS Eliot finishes the peom thus " when you notice a cat in profound meditation,the reason I tell you is always the same, his mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation, of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name, his effable ineffable,
effanineffable,
deep and inscrutable,
singular name.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Cottontail's wire-meshed Shawshank.
Long Ears is a blue and white cotton-tail inhabitant of a large well-made hutch of wire mesh and steel behind the back door of the Groome family abode. He moved in with us over a year ago after a client who had taken in a labrador puppy brought a young traumatised rabbit to me and shared a tale of prey and predator incompatibility. He had lost some weight,was refusing to eat and in a state of chronic stress(the rabbit that is- not the client).
Predator and prey species frequently do not mix. It goes against the natural order to attempt to make a rabbit and dog coexist as domestic pets. Remember the old looney tunes cartoons of the tomcat thwarted by tweetie pie or terrorising the goldfish? There are exceptions such as when socialised together from a few weeks of age, but in general natural urges supercede conditioning. When we have rabbits, hamsters, parrots, other prey species or exotics to stay at KIlDARE VET SURGERY we isolate them from our inpatient dogs and cats for this reason. Its not fair on either to mix them.
Thus Long Ears was adopted by the Groomes. Daniel,(7), James (5) and Tom (3) are too young yet to care for a dog or cat. A rabbit is an excellent first pet. That is until Dad, yardman Lar and grandad Tom get left to do everything. This winter in fact was so harsh that Long Ears shamefully was left in his outdoor hutch and coop largely to interact only with the adults.
A few days of snowman building and snowballing being memorable exceptions, the three boys spent the winter in the playrooom as engineers on the Island of Sodor or roadbuilders in Radiator Springs. Long Ears was sorely in need of some attention as rabbits need constant handling and interaction with people to ensure they remain socialised, do not revert to semi-feral and can be managed or cared for by a young owner. More importantly constant interaction is necessary so that the relationship between child and pet is wholesome and stress-free for BOTH.
Recently when the bikes were polished off and the boys started using the garden again they resolved to get Long Ears out to play. The first few episodes of manhandling led,not unexpectedly, to the rabbit wriggling and leg-thumping his way to freedom. Tom discovered that bunnies can have a nasty nip when startled. But after a week or so of handling, boys and rabbit became friends and played a sort of tag or hide-and-seek game in our enclosed side yard. Each day Long Ears would agree to be enticed by lettuce back to his hutch until the next time.
One day however our bunny found a new spring to his step. The time came for supper and to return Long Ears to lockup. But I looked out to find three boys of varying size and athleticism galloping around the yard trying to turn and corner a now fitter and confident Long Ears. It was definitely a Looney Tunes version of a Clonmel Hare coursing contest. At one stage as Long Ears paused for a breather and turned sharply to unbalance his twolegged pursuers,he looked across at me and I almost heard him say " Whats up Doc?".
That pursuit ended on Long Ears terms, when he decided he was tired of the chase and returned himself to barracks. But the next morning I looked out from upstairs to see his run empty. I spotted something beyond the back garden some 100 metres away and opened the window to get a better look. There he was in the long meadow keeping the pony company. Ears forward, aloft on hind legs with a blade of grass between his paws. No doubt smelling the sweet breeze of freedom.I laughed at the joie de vivre of our cotton tail, this time definitely less Looney Tunes and more Shawshank Redemption!
The boys' Mum warned darkly of the grim fate that could befall this fluffy innocent abroad in the long grass. A capture party was thus swiftly dispatched and soon Long Ears was reincarcerated to stare at the four small wire sides of his prison. As the old sage "Red" in that great movie said from his cell "Same old shit, different day!". We repaired the never before eaten-through wire meshing.
But something had changed. Long Ears escaped again. And again. And Lar the yardman nodded one day and said "he's got the taste of freedom now. Only the crows will scare him. He will breed with the wild ones and there'll be blue and white little lads everywhere!". Lar was our "Red"; the Morgan Freeman character who watched Andy in Shawshank always trying to escape in the 1994 movie and provided the slow voiceover "I have to remind myself that some birds aint meant to be caged, that's all".
Here's the thing. Long Ears hutch hadnt changed.But his attitude had. Now he could escape because he wanted to. For the previous year the blue and white cottontail had languished behind a wire mesh wall he himself held the power to breach. Held captive only by a barrier in his bunny brain.A taste of freedom had empowered him. The smell of free air had shown Long Ears the possibilities of life. Now escape was as easy as his dreams of a new reality!
There's some work to do tomorrow in mending that hutch.It will be no laughing matter for three little boys if a certain cotton tail meets a sad ending in the long grass. For now though remember "Shawshank" brought to you by eternal optimist and escapologist Andy Dufresne, AKA Long Ears. What imaginary prisons hold any and each of us back? A negative equity mortgage holding you back from a fresh start or a re-education? Fear of failure holding back that germ of a business idea? Unemployed, bankrupt or squeezed by the weight of institutional credit? Feel the failure if you need to- and let it liberate you.
I will leave the last word to Andy Dufresne who finally did escape."Dear Red. If you're reading this it means you've gotten out. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further.Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies".
Predator and prey species frequently do not mix. It goes against the natural order to attempt to make a rabbit and dog coexist as domestic pets. Remember the old looney tunes cartoons of the tomcat thwarted by tweetie pie or terrorising the goldfish? There are exceptions such as when socialised together from a few weeks of age, but in general natural urges supercede conditioning. When we have rabbits, hamsters, parrots, other prey species or exotics to stay at KIlDARE VET SURGERY we isolate them from our inpatient dogs and cats for this reason. Its not fair on either to mix them.
Thus Long Ears was adopted by the Groomes. Daniel,(7), James (5) and Tom (3) are too young yet to care for a dog or cat. A rabbit is an excellent first pet. That is until Dad, yardman Lar and grandad Tom get left to do everything. This winter in fact was so harsh that Long Ears shamefully was left in his outdoor hutch and coop largely to interact only with the adults.
A few days of snowman building and snowballing being memorable exceptions, the three boys spent the winter in the playrooom as engineers on the Island of Sodor or roadbuilders in Radiator Springs. Long Ears was sorely in need of some attention as rabbits need constant handling and interaction with people to ensure they remain socialised, do not revert to semi-feral and can be managed or cared for by a young owner. More importantly constant interaction is necessary so that the relationship between child and pet is wholesome and stress-free for BOTH.
Recently when the bikes were polished off and the boys started using the garden again they resolved to get Long Ears out to play. The first few episodes of manhandling led,not unexpectedly, to the rabbit wriggling and leg-thumping his way to freedom. Tom discovered that bunnies can have a nasty nip when startled. But after a week or so of handling, boys and rabbit became friends and played a sort of tag or hide-and-seek game in our enclosed side yard. Each day Long Ears would agree to be enticed by lettuce back to his hutch until the next time.
One day however our bunny found a new spring to his step. The time came for supper and to return Long Ears to lockup. But I looked out to find three boys of varying size and athleticism galloping around the yard trying to turn and corner a now fitter and confident Long Ears. It was definitely a Looney Tunes version of a Clonmel Hare coursing contest. At one stage as Long Ears paused for a breather and turned sharply to unbalance his twolegged pursuers,he looked across at me and I almost heard him say " Whats up Doc?".
That pursuit ended on Long Ears terms, when he decided he was tired of the chase and returned himself to barracks. But the next morning I looked out from upstairs to see his run empty. I spotted something beyond the back garden some 100 metres away and opened the window to get a better look. There he was in the long meadow keeping the pony company. Ears forward, aloft on hind legs with a blade of grass between his paws. No doubt smelling the sweet breeze of freedom.I laughed at the joie de vivre of our cotton tail, this time definitely less Looney Tunes and more Shawshank Redemption!
The boys' Mum warned darkly of the grim fate that could befall this fluffy innocent abroad in the long grass. A capture party was thus swiftly dispatched and soon Long Ears was reincarcerated to stare at the four small wire sides of his prison. As the old sage "Red" in that great movie said from his cell "Same old shit, different day!". We repaired the never before eaten-through wire meshing.
But something had changed. Long Ears escaped again. And again. And Lar the yardman nodded one day and said "he's got the taste of freedom now. Only the crows will scare him. He will breed with the wild ones and there'll be blue and white little lads everywhere!". Lar was our "Red"; the Morgan Freeman character who watched Andy in Shawshank always trying to escape in the 1994 movie and provided the slow voiceover "I have to remind myself that some birds aint meant to be caged, that's all".
Here's the thing. Long Ears hutch hadnt changed.But his attitude had. Now he could escape because he wanted to. For the previous year the blue and white cottontail had languished behind a wire mesh wall he himself held the power to breach. Held captive only by a barrier in his bunny brain.A taste of freedom had empowered him. The smell of free air had shown Long Ears the possibilities of life. Now escape was as easy as his dreams of a new reality!
There's some work to do tomorrow in mending that hutch.It will be no laughing matter for three little boys if a certain cotton tail meets a sad ending in the long grass. For now though remember "Shawshank" brought to you by eternal optimist and escapologist Andy Dufresne, AKA Long Ears. What imaginary prisons hold any and each of us back? A negative equity mortgage holding you back from a fresh start or a re-education? Fear of failure holding back that germ of a business idea? Unemployed, bankrupt or squeezed by the weight of institutional credit? Feel the failure if you need to- and let it liberate you.
I will leave the last word to Andy Dufresne who finally did escape."Dear Red. If you're reading this it means you've gotten out. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further.Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies".
Friday, April 23, 2010
High Rise Syndrome- The science of the nine-lived feline.
A young Jack Russel of my acquaintance is now newly christened Kamikaze Jack.When Jack presented at Kildare Vet yesterday he had some bruises and a shoulder injury. While I xrayed Jack to reveal nothing more sinister than a bad sprain his owner told a tale of derring-do and a death-defying leap.
Home alone while his owner shopped, Jack was locked in the kitchen as a regular routine. This recent fine day his owner returned home to find his dog in the garden at play. Doors remained locked. No other family member had been home. How did Jack get out?
A neighbour solved the mystery by reporting that he had watched while Jack poked his nose out an upstairs window,tentatively placed first one paw on the windowsill, then squarely positioned the other paw for take-off, until with ears cocked confidently forward, Jack had launched himself groundward off the upstairs windowsill.
Jack landed with nose, teeth and shoulders all a muddle. Like a tangled canine Wilbur Wright. True also to my son Daniel's favourite Buzz lightyear catchphrase " flying is falling with style"!
The solution for this owner now is to obtain a travel crate which is a type of collapsible cage large enough for a dog bed. Kamikaze Jack will now be cage bound in his owner's absence to curb further flights of fancy.
This behaviour is indeed strange in a dog. And of course in this case our patient was lucky not to sustain serious injury. Cases of falling cats are altogether more common however and a myriad of injuries are seen in association with cats falling from buildings.
Veterinary hospitals in New York first reported high-rise fall injuries in felines in Manhattan in the sixties. Appropriately they termed these cases " High Rise Syndrome". What made these cases news worthy was the surprisingly high survival rate in those cats who made it as far as the veterinary hospital after an often shocked and traumatised owner had peeled their pussy off the pavement.
This catalogue ( if you'll pardon the pun)of feline falls reveals the following; Two or three storey falls are more likely to be fatal than a five to ten storey fall. Survival rates were optimal for six storey falls as cats have time to right themselves to extend all four limbs ground-first but not time to reach terminal velocity. Having reached terminal velocity all is not lost as the cat will sprawl all four to extend body area in order to dissipate its force of impact. Their lower ratio of body mass to surface area is also an advantage cats have over many other species including of course the hapless human jumper.
The "record" is reportedly held by Sabrina ( not a teenage witch) who lived to meow the tale of her 32 storey fall off a frosty Manhattan window ledge. Incidentally the sorts of injuries these falling cats sustained were often no more serious than a few broken ribs, cracked jaw or chipped teeth.Of course critically serious injuries can also occur. But the good doctors of Happy Vet 5th Avenue can and will save one of your proverbial squashed cats nine lives IF your credit card can bear the pain. Strong Coffee and plush waiting rooms come as standard.
Home alone while his owner shopped, Jack was locked in the kitchen as a regular routine. This recent fine day his owner returned home to find his dog in the garden at play. Doors remained locked. No other family member had been home. How did Jack get out?
A neighbour solved the mystery by reporting that he had watched while Jack poked his nose out an upstairs window,tentatively placed first one paw on the windowsill, then squarely positioned the other paw for take-off, until with ears cocked confidently forward, Jack had launched himself groundward off the upstairs windowsill.
Jack landed with nose, teeth and shoulders all a muddle. Like a tangled canine Wilbur Wright. True also to my son Daniel's favourite Buzz lightyear catchphrase " flying is falling with style"!
The solution for this owner now is to obtain a travel crate which is a type of collapsible cage large enough for a dog bed. Kamikaze Jack will now be cage bound in his owner's absence to curb further flights of fancy.
This behaviour is indeed strange in a dog. And of course in this case our patient was lucky not to sustain serious injury. Cases of falling cats are altogether more common however and a myriad of injuries are seen in association with cats falling from buildings.
Veterinary hospitals in New York first reported high-rise fall injuries in felines in Manhattan in the sixties. Appropriately they termed these cases " High Rise Syndrome". What made these cases news worthy was the surprisingly high survival rate in those cats who made it as far as the veterinary hospital after an often shocked and traumatised owner had peeled their pussy off the pavement.
This catalogue ( if you'll pardon the pun)of feline falls reveals the following; Two or three storey falls are more likely to be fatal than a five to ten storey fall. Survival rates were optimal for six storey falls as cats have time to right themselves to extend all four limbs ground-first but not time to reach terminal velocity. Having reached terminal velocity all is not lost as the cat will sprawl all four to extend body area in order to dissipate its force of impact. Their lower ratio of body mass to surface area is also an advantage cats have over many other species including of course the hapless human jumper.
The "record" is reportedly held by Sabrina ( not a teenage witch) who lived to meow the tale of her 32 storey fall off a frosty Manhattan window ledge. Incidentally the sorts of injuries these falling cats sustained were often no more serious than a few broken ribs, cracked jaw or chipped teeth.Of course critically serious injuries can also occur. But the good doctors of Happy Vet 5th Avenue can and will save one of your proverbial squashed cats nine lives IF your credit card can bear the pain. Strong Coffee and plush waiting rooms come as standard.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Irish Wolfhounds- echoes of a proud past.
Journeying the other day back up onto the Curragh from Naas to the junction 12 roundabout I met the new imposing ironcast sculptures now filling the eye at the gateway to the Curragh plains. I took three spins around the roundabout to admire Fionn MacCumhaill flanked either side by his impressive hunting hounds Bran and Sceolain.
Kildare people often think themselves to be living in a bland modern and almost suburbanised landscape. We assume perhaps that words like tradition and heritage fit Connemara,Dingle, Lisdoonvarna or the Giants Causeway. A reminder of the pagan, celtic and rebellious history of our own townlands might incite a bit more civic pride in the people, place and history of Kildare perhaps.
I was saddened to hear one of Kildare's county councillors on the radio complaining that Fionn MacCumhaill's aculpture shouldnt have been paid for out of Newbridge town council's parking funds.I disagree and believe in fact that cultural pride, identity and a sense of dreaming the possible can lift people to think above the everyday and believe themselves capable of better.
Civic Leadership needs to excite again. People need to be asked to believe in themselves and their country, to strive for a noble cause again and to rise above the mundane. Leadership is effective when it incites to what Maslow, an early psychologist, called "self-actualisation".
The presence of Fionn MacCumhaill, Bran and Sceolain towering over that motorway junction is an echo of Ireland's mythology and awakens in me a sense of patriotism. And a sense of identity that allows us as an Irish people to define ourselves apart from the euro-mush and globalised Americana that dominate our lives now.
Legend has it that Fionn MacCumhaill was a Kildare man. His grandfather Tadhg the Druid had a fortress and lands on the Hill of Allen. Fionn was the lovechild of Tadhg's daughter Muireann and Cumhaill, the leader of the Fianna. Fionn was reared in the Slieve Blooms but returned to Allen to claim his grandfathers lands.The title of leader of the Fianna was bestowed on him in Tara as his father's legacy.
His two favourite hunting hounds were bewitched warriors imprisoned in animal form.The theme of humans bewitched into animal form was a common part of Irish celtic mythology. My view is that these stories educated people to have respect for nature.The closeness of the link between man's fortunes and the cycle of nature was a core belief of celtic druidism.
Bran and Sceolain were Irish wolfhounds. However the early writers often termed this breed of huge dog a wardog or deerhound/wolfhound.They were fit for purpose and could kill a wolf by snapping its neck. A pair could bring down a bear of which there were many in the Irish iron age forests. The Fianna were footsoldiers who went into battle with their hounds at heel and as the dog would fight to the death with his master and guard the homestead at night they were a revered and treasured possession.
Roman historians of the second and third century AD write of these hounds being brought in cages to be exhibited in Rome and to fight in the Collosseum. The ship that brought a young St Patrick out of Ireland carried a cargo of hounds to Britannia. There is evidence that there was a thriving trade in the export of the Irish wardog to the continent.
We believe that the Romans never came to Ireland. However it is more accurate to say that they never established an occupational presence in Ireland. They certainly traded with the iron age Irish and pre christian celts. A Roman temple and baths in Gloucester today has a life size statue of an Irish Wolfhound which dates to 365AD. I would like to think that the fearsome indigenous footsoldiers of Celtic Ireland who went into battle with their loyal and savage wardogs at heel provided a strong deterrent against Roman invaders.
The Fianna disbanded within a few hundred years of St Patrick's christianisation of Ireland. The land lay open to Viking, Norman and then British invasion as the millenia passed and the landscape, culture and genepools of Ireland were altered and diluted over time. Fionn, Bran and Sceolain on the roundabout are an echo of what Irishness might once have looked like.
When you next drive by there picture Fionn, leader of the Fianna standing on the Hill of Allen, watching his favourite hounds Bran and Sceolain as they hunt the Curragh plains below.
Kildare people often think themselves to be living in a bland modern and almost suburbanised landscape. We assume perhaps that words like tradition and heritage fit Connemara,Dingle, Lisdoonvarna or the Giants Causeway. A reminder of the pagan, celtic and rebellious history of our own townlands might incite a bit more civic pride in the people, place and history of Kildare perhaps.
I was saddened to hear one of Kildare's county councillors on the radio complaining that Fionn MacCumhaill's aculpture shouldnt have been paid for out of Newbridge town council's parking funds.I disagree and believe in fact that cultural pride, identity and a sense of dreaming the possible can lift people to think above the everyday and believe themselves capable of better.
Civic Leadership needs to excite again. People need to be asked to believe in themselves and their country, to strive for a noble cause again and to rise above the mundane. Leadership is effective when it incites to what Maslow, an early psychologist, called "self-actualisation".
The presence of Fionn MacCumhaill, Bran and Sceolain towering over that motorway junction is an echo of Ireland's mythology and awakens in me a sense of patriotism. And a sense of identity that allows us as an Irish people to define ourselves apart from the euro-mush and globalised Americana that dominate our lives now.
Legend has it that Fionn MacCumhaill was a Kildare man. His grandfather Tadhg the Druid had a fortress and lands on the Hill of Allen. Fionn was the lovechild of Tadhg's daughter Muireann and Cumhaill, the leader of the Fianna. Fionn was reared in the Slieve Blooms but returned to Allen to claim his grandfathers lands.The title of leader of the Fianna was bestowed on him in Tara as his father's legacy.
His two favourite hunting hounds were bewitched warriors imprisoned in animal form.The theme of humans bewitched into animal form was a common part of Irish celtic mythology. My view is that these stories educated people to have respect for nature.The closeness of the link between man's fortunes and the cycle of nature was a core belief of celtic druidism.
Bran and Sceolain were Irish wolfhounds. However the early writers often termed this breed of huge dog a wardog or deerhound/wolfhound.They were fit for purpose and could kill a wolf by snapping its neck. A pair could bring down a bear of which there were many in the Irish iron age forests. The Fianna were footsoldiers who went into battle with their hounds at heel and as the dog would fight to the death with his master and guard the homestead at night they were a revered and treasured possession.
Roman historians of the second and third century AD write of these hounds being brought in cages to be exhibited in Rome and to fight in the Collosseum. The ship that brought a young St Patrick out of Ireland carried a cargo of hounds to Britannia. There is evidence that there was a thriving trade in the export of the Irish wardog to the continent.
We believe that the Romans never came to Ireland. However it is more accurate to say that they never established an occupational presence in Ireland. They certainly traded with the iron age Irish and pre christian celts. A Roman temple and baths in Gloucester today has a life size statue of an Irish Wolfhound which dates to 365AD. I would like to think that the fearsome indigenous footsoldiers of Celtic Ireland who went into battle with their loyal and savage wardogs at heel provided a strong deterrent against Roman invaders.
The Fianna disbanded within a few hundred years of St Patrick's christianisation of Ireland. The land lay open to Viking, Norman and then British invasion as the millenia passed and the landscape, culture and genepools of Ireland were altered and diluted over time. Fionn, Bran and Sceolain on the roundabout are an echo of what Irishness might once have looked like.
When you next drive by there picture Fionn, leader of the Fianna standing on the Hill of Allen, watching his favourite hounds Bran and Sceolain as they hunt the Curragh plains below.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
A Parrot is for life- not just for Christmas!
If the Bank of America cant float their stocks and bonds these days, signs are they are preparing to float a new Noah's Ark if the activities of their debt collectors are anything to go by.
A character of our times, a woman in Somewheresmallville Florida, a woman in serious arrears of her mortgage repayments, arrived home to her subprime humble abode the other day to an empty house. But this was an empty house with a difference.
Monica Florent who was recently unemployed and had ignored correspondence from her mortgaging bank for some months, lived alone except for her 11 year old Blue Macaw Parrot named Luke. The Bank's collection sheriff believing the house to be vacant,followed the bank's salvage policy and efficiently emptied its entire contents. Including Luke, a very large, vocal, valuable but more importantly much-loved Parrot.
There followed an anxious time for Monica. Separated from her beloved Luke she repeatedly negotiated with bank representatives over the course of seven increasingly fraught days. Bank officials admit that they had to insist Monica stop calling as twenty to thirty daily enquiries after Luke's welfare eventually wore them down. Luke was released back to his owner after over a week in bank custody in a debt collector's warehouse 80 miles away.
Monica is getting her own back now. In a court case which has attracted world media attention Luke's owner has claimed severe emotional distress over the whole sorry episode and is suing Bank of America for reparations over separation anxiety.The outcome of this case no doubt will set a precedent for the work practices of debt collectors across the US.
The case of Luke's apparent kidnapping is interesting on several levels. Blue Macaws have a market value of 1500 to 3000 Dollars. Thus Luke could conceivably have bought Monica significant additional leeway on her distressed mortgage.However the distress caused, not to Monica but to Luke could bring a storm of animal welfare protest down on an already unpopular banking symbol of financial malfeasance.
Blue Macaw Parrots are the ones seen on every Treasure Island screenplay, made famous by Robert Louis Stevenson. Standing up to 20 inches tall with a tail of a further 15 inches, they have a brilliant-blue wings and back, yellow chest and splash of green on the crown and beak. Their formidable beak can give a nasty bite and when angered they will loudly startle strangers with a hissing wing-flapping charge. They form a strong emotional bond with preferably just one owner. They also can live for up to 70 years.
Bank of America could therefore have bitten off more than they could chew,so to speak, with Luke. I was reminded of a veterinary colleague owed a considerable sum of money by a racehorse trainer, who recently obtained a court order to collect his debt by the legal channels. The court sheriff arrived out to the trainer's yard to collect the debt to the vet only to find the only thing in the yard that wasnt bolted down had four legs.
Next day the county Sheriff ( yes,they actually are called that outside the pale)rang the vet to deliver his official line that " no goods were recovered". He did mention the horse in the yard as the only thing that could conceivably be seized and sold. " Why didnt you seize the horse?!That gelding won in Galway last month and would fetch a right few quid!"said the hapless vet.
The Sheriff's reply" The court service dont equip us with horseboxes!".
A character of our times, a woman in Somewheresmallville Florida, a woman in serious arrears of her mortgage repayments, arrived home to her subprime humble abode the other day to an empty house. But this was an empty house with a difference.
Monica Florent who was recently unemployed and had ignored correspondence from her mortgaging bank for some months, lived alone except for her 11 year old Blue Macaw Parrot named Luke. The Bank's collection sheriff believing the house to be vacant,followed the bank's salvage policy and efficiently emptied its entire contents. Including Luke, a very large, vocal, valuable but more importantly much-loved Parrot.
There followed an anxious time for Monica. Separated from her beloved Luke she repeatedly negotiated with bank representatives over the course of seven increasingly fraught days. Bank officials admit that they had to insist Monica stop calling as twenty to thirty daily enquiries after Luke's welfare eventually wore them down. Luke was released back to his owner after over a week in bank custody in a debt collector's warehouse 80 miles away.
Monica is getting her own back now. In a court case which has attracted world media attention Luke's owner has claimed severe emotional distress over the whole sorry episode and is suing Bank of America for reparations over separation anxiety.The outcome of this case no doubt will set a precedent for the work practices of debt collectors across the US.
The case of Luke's apparent kidnapping is interesting on several levels. Blue Macaws have a market value of 1500 to 3000 Dollars. Thus Luke could conceivably have bought Monica significant additional leeway on her distressed mortgage.However the distress caused, not to Monica but to Luke could bring a storm of animal welfare protest down on an already unpopular banking symbol of financial malfeasance.
Blue Macaw Parrots are the ones seen on every Treasure Island screenplay, made famous by Robert Louis Stevenson. Standing up to 20 inches tall with a tail of a further 15 inches, they have a brilliant-blue wings and back, yellow chest and splash of green on the crown and beak. Their formidable beak can give a nasty bite and when angered they will loudly startle strangers with a hissing wing-flapping charge. They form a strong emotional bond with preferably just one owner. They also can live for up to 70 years.
Bank of America could therefore have bitten off more than they could chew,so to speak, with Luke. I was reminded of a veterinary colleague owed a considerable sum of money by a racehorse trainer, who recently obtained a court order to collect his debt by the legal channels. The court sheriff arrived out to the trainer's yard to collect the debt to the vet only to find the only thing in the yard that wasnt bolted down had four legs.
Next day the county Sheriff ( yes,they actually are called that outside the pale)rang the vet to deliver his official line that " no goods were recovered". He did mention the horse in the yard as the only thing that could conceivably be seized and sold. " Why didnt you seize the horse?!That gelding won in Galway last month and would fetch a right few quid!"said the hapless vet.
The Sheriff's reply" The court service dont equip us with horseboxes!".
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The taming of the Tiger Cubs.
RTE's "The frontline" with Pat Kenny on 22/2/2010 featured a panel of two "young" Politicians facing an audience of a representative section of Ireland's Tiger Cubs; young, newly graduated, newly skilled and unemployed.It was an evening of frustrations and misunderstandings and the Tiger Cubs were angry.
Thomas Byrne of Fianna Fail and Lucinda Creighton of Fine Gael both agreed with this audience's agenda for CHANGE, though differing in their view of what actual changes could happen.Byrne had the better of the exchange with a clarity of communication, three solid points and a speech without notes. Neither Politician could offer radical enough plans to satisfy this audience. A need to mobilise the unemployed, harness the educated, nurture and retain Ireland's investment in youth skills and training was, of course, widely agreed. But there was a gulf of understanding and a youthful frustration at the slow pace and extent of change which reflects the difficulties facing these young Politicians attempting to exercise power in a multilayered system of bureaucracy, vested-interest resistance and tradition.
Both TDs argued that becoming involved in existing political channels IS the most effective way to influence change. The increasing disillusionment and disengagement of younger citizens in Politics will lead to a self-fulfilling cycle which will only serve to enforce the status quo through an increasingly older electorate electing older Politicians.
Frustrations and misunderstandings were also manifest amongst the contributors. Bill Cullen was frustrated that this group, highly educated and highly skilled in the professions and trades, lacked the self-reliance, initiative, Can Do attitude and resilience of HIS generation. Architects, engineers, business graduates, carpenters,physiotherapists etc should do more for themselves argued Bill. A creed of self-responsibility which was met with sullen misunderstanding and a rejection of his perspective as that of an establishment capitalist.
But Bill is right. Most of that group have the skills to make their own living. Most have the tools, gained by education and training in the good times, to set up their own businesses, hang their own plinth, ply their own trades in their own neighbourhoods. What many of them dont have though is the street sense, people skills,ability to improvise and the practical survival instincts that Bill Cullen's agegroup have.
We have channelled the Tiger Cubs through well-oiled educational and training systems. Their fees were paid. Summer jobs were plentiful and cushy.Apprentices were well paid and valued. We instilled them with a sense of entitlement that they would never be subject to the inequalities, dead-end jobs and the emigration of our past. But the consequence of prosperity is that the well-funded, well-meaning, well-signposted scaffold of Ireland's social supports has domesticated the Tiger Cubs to see only the safe and structured channels. The expectation that the Government should provide is a clear legacy of the boom years.
The people "before profit" and the TCD student union heads and the soft-socialist young labourites like to think they are radical. But the wildest voice in the room last night was Bill Cullen's.The entire collective of Cubs failed to match Bill's passion.The most radical thought in the room was Bill's message of the mastery of one's own fate. The Cubs have been domesticated and tamed. But there is a solution.
The most innovative and visionary speaker in that room last night was a young software entrepreneur. The cross-pollination of Bill Cullen's school of hard knocks with the mosern globalised IT savvy of that young entrepreneur is needed to finish the Cubs education.My solution? Put business parks IN universities. Allocate incubation pods to IT startups IN Science faculties. Rent office space in business schools to entrepreneurs and to last years graduates. Incorporate participation in successful business projects into undergraduate work.
The Tiger is dead? Long live the Tiger!
Thomas Byrne of Fianna Fail and Lucinda Creighton of Fine Gael both agreed with this audience's agenda for CHANGE, though differing in their view of what actual changes could happen.Byrne had the better of the exchange with a clarity of communication, three solid points and a speech without notes. Neither Politician could offer radical enough plans to satisfy this audience. A need to mobilise the unemployed, harness the educated, nurture and retain Ireland's investment in youth skills and training was, of course, widely agreed. But there was a gulf of understanding and a youthful frustration at the slow pace and extent of change which reflects the difficulties facing these young Politicians attempting to exercise power in a multilayered system of bureaucracy, vested-interest resistance and tradition.
Both TDs argued that becoming involved in existing political channels IS the most effective way to influence change. The increasing disillusionment and disengagement of younger citizens in Politics will lead to a self-fulfilling cycle which will only serve to enforce the status quo through an increasingly older electorate electing older Politicians.
Frustrations and misunderstandings were also manifest amongst the contributors. Bill Cullen was frustrated that this group, highly educated and highly skilled in the professions and trades, lacked the self-reliance, initiative, Can Do attitude and resilience of HIS generation. Architects, engineers, business graduates, carpenters,physiotherapists etc should do more for themselves argued Bill. A creed of self-responsibility which was met with sullen misunderstanding and a rejection of his perspective as that of an establishment capitalist.
But Bill is right. Most of that group have the skills to make their own living. Most have the tools, gained by education and training in the good times, to set up their own businesses, hang their own plinth, ply their own trades in their own neighbourhoods. What many of them dont have though is the street sense, people skills,ability to improvise and the practical survival instincts that Bill Cullen's agegroup have.
We have channelled the Tiger Cubs through well-oiled educational and training systems. Their fees were paid. Summer jobs were plentiful and cushy.Apprentices were well paid and valued. We instilled them with a sense of entitlement that they would never be subject to the inequalities, dead-end jobs and the emigration of our past. But the consequence of prosperity is that the well-funded, well-meaning, well-signposted scaffold of Ireland's social supports has domesticated the Tiger Cubs to see only the safe and structured channels. The expectation that the Government should provide is a clear legacy of the boom years.
The people "before profit" and the TCD student union heads and the soft-socialist young labourites like to think they are radical. But the wildest voice in the room last night was Bill Cullen's.The entire collective of Cubs failed to match Bill's passion.The most radical thought in the room was Bill's message of the mastery of one's own fate. The Cubs have been domesticated and tamed. But there is a solution.
The most innovative and visionary speaker in that room last night was a young software entrepreneur. The cross-pollination of Bill Cullen's school of hard knocks with the mosern globalised IT savvy of that young entrepreneur is needed to finish the Cubs education.My solution? Put business parks IN universities. Allocate incubation pods to IT startups IN Science faculties. Rent office space in business schools to entrepreneurs and to last years graduates. Incorporate participation in successful business projects into undergraduate work.
The Tiger is dead? Long live the Tiger!
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Jungle Book- We be of one blood you and I.
A young fella of about 19 came into the surgery in Kildare on saturday morning carrying a large open-necked and heavy-looking sack.what did the sack contain? I was expecting the common story of the family pet which had died overnight, now brought to me for cremation. As I ushered him into the consulting room with a greeting "come in, come in, what have you got in the bag?"I got a surprise. Without reply the young fella,now grinning broadly as I warily stepped back, emptied a coiled, surly, growling,three mtr and ten kg python onto the floor.
Even diseased or dull, the supple power, luscent pattern and very mystery of a rare serpent in the banal setting of a domestic Vet Clinic elicited a sharp intake of breath.
I thumbed through Kipling's "Jungle Book" over the weekend.Our python patient promptd me to remind myself of Kaa the Rock Python, a deep character of dark jungle mystery from one of my childhood favourite writings. The story of Mowgli the Man-Cub reared by wolves and mentored by Bagheera the Panther and Baloo the Bear.The chapter on Mowgli's snatched kidnapping by the Bandar-Log or Monkey people and rescue by Kaa, an awesome 30ft Rock Python captivated me again."And they the Bandar-Log fear Kaa the Rock Snake. He can climb as well as they can. The whisper of his name makes their wicked tails turn cold.Let us go to Kaa".
"They found him stretched on a warm ledge in the afternoon sun admiring his beautiful new coat,for he had been in retirement these last ten days changing his skin and now he was very splendid- darting his big blunt-nosed head along the ground, and twisting the thirty feet of his body into fantastic knots and curves and licking his lips as he thought of the dinner to come."He has not eaten" said Baloo as soon as he saw the beautifully mottled brown and yellow jacket" Be careful Bagheera!".
Reading parts of Kipling now as a forty year old I picked out social commentary and satire that was lost on me as a ten year old. "Listen man-cub" said the bear " I have taught thee all the law of the jungle for all the peoples except the Monkey-Folk who live in the trees.They have no law. They are outcaste. They have no speech of their own but use the stolen words which they overhear when they listen, and peep, and wait up in the branches.Their way is not our way. They boast and chatter and pretend that they are a great people about to do great affairs in the jungle, but the falling of a nut turns their minds to laughter and all is forgotten".This could be a commentary on our modern papparazzi or the tabloid media and those who inhabit its world.
There are also echoes of Victorian morality in Kipling which a ten year old boy might assimilate. Kaa the great aged Python assisted Mowgli's escape from the monkeys and afterwards surveyed the small boy."Have a care manling that I do not mistake thee for a monkey some twilight when I have newly changed my coat"." We be of one blood, thou and I"Mowgli answered."My kill shall be thy kill if ever thou art hungry, O Kaa".The Python dropped his head lightly for a minute "A brave heart and a courteous tongue. They shall carry thee far through the jungle, manling".True today as ever;even jungles have a code of ethics.
The attraction of owning an exotic pet such as Kaa the powerful python is hard for the faint-hearted to understand. But the challenge of caring for and gaining the trust of a complex serpent or reptile has its own rewards for some. My Python visitor had severe fungal pneumonia which I was able to treat with oral liquid antibiotic medication. He had lost weight, lost his lustre and a caseous scum across nose and eyes indicated severe debilitation.I was able to sherlock holmes my way to tracing the source of this disease to inhalation of mold grown on straw, an inappropriate bedding for a snake in a humid tank.
The snake hadnt eaten in a month. "What does he normally eat?" I asked his young owner. "Rats, the biggest whole ones you can buy frozen and defrost!" replied the young fella in gleeful Dublinese.I suspect a more gothic fascination with serpentine habits may motivate some exotic pet owners. To give him his dues though, he was under no illusions about his snake's potency and expertly restrained the python with extreme care as I gave the first antibiotic dose.
Anthropomorphism is a phenomenon we see in pet owners all the time.It means the attribution of human motivation and behaviour to animals.In fairness to this Python owner he was in no way anthropomorphic about his snake.But apparently thousands of owners are killed every year by their own exotic pets. Trust is their fatal weakness. Mowgli too was guilty of anthropomorphism as he initially was attracted by the monkey-people who play all day. Later however he cried bitterly as he realized their treachery "All that Baloo has said about the Bandar-Log is true. They have no law, no hunting call, no leaders- nothing but foolish words and little pickish thieving hands. If I am starved or killed here, it will be all my own fault".Kipling, the Victorian moralist now sounding like a 21st century ecologist.
One of those urban myths of a veterinary nature which I heard once at a Vet's conference goes like this- a python owner in the states had a snake for years and it grew to twentysomething feet long, grew to trust its owner and she it.The snake spent long periods of time out of its tank until the owner eventually let the snake pretty much have the run of the house and go in or out of its tank when it wished. Anyway by the by,she would wake up in the morning and find the snake on her bed which was not the least disconcerting for her. Instead, as a person living alone she found it strangely comforting. One morning she found the snake lying alongside her, cheek to jowl in the bed and happened to tell her Vet this tale of snakely companionship.
The Vet was luckily experienced in the ways of the footless hunter. He spoke with sharp and sudden urgency" Get that Python out of your house and into care immediately. Do not enter your home to get that snake on your own!".Kaa the Python had coldly reasoned that the time had come.He had been measuring up his owner and biding his time, sizing her up to swallow her whole.We be of one blood you and I.But trust is a weakness!
Even diseased or dull, the supple power, luscent pattern and very mystery of a rare serpent in the banal setting of a domestic Vet Clinic elicited a sharp intake of breath.
I thumbed through Kipling's "Jungle Book" over the weekend.Our python patient promptd me to remind myself of Kaa the Rock Python, a deep character of dark jungle mystery from one of my childhood favourite writings. The story of Mowgli the Man-Cub reared by wolves and mentored by Bagheera the Panther and Baloo the Bear.The chapter on Mowgli's snatched kidnapping by the Bandar-Log or Monkey people and rescue by Kaa, an awesome 30ft Rock Python captivated me again."And they the Bandar-Log fear Kaa the Rock Snake. He can climb as well as they can. The whisper of his name makes their wicked tails turn cold.Let us go to Kaa".
"They found him stretched on a warm ledge in the afternoon sun admiring his beautiful new coat,for he had been in retirement these last ten days changing his skin and now he was very splendid- darting his big blunt-nosed head along the ground, and twisting the thirty feet of his body into fantastic knots and curves and licking his lips as he thought of the dinner to come."He has not eaten" said Baloo as soon as he saw the beautifully mottled brown and yellow jacket" Be careful Bagheera!".
Reading parts of Kipling now as a forty year old I picked out social commentary and satire that was lost on me as a ten year old. "Listen man-cub" said the bear " I have taught thee all the law of the jungle for all the peoples except the Monkey-Folk who live in the trees.They have no law. They are outcaste. They have no speech of their own but use the stolen words which they overhear when they listen, and peep, and wait up in the branches.Their way is not our way. They boast and chatter and pretend that they are a great people about to do great affairs in the jungle, but the falling of a nut turns their minds to laughter and all is forgotten".This could be a commentary on our modern papparazzi or the tabloid media and those who inhabit its world.
There are also echoes of Victorian morality in Kipling which a ten year old boy might assimilate. Kaa the great aged Python assisted Mowgli's escape from the monkeys and afterwards surveyed the small boy."Have a care manling that I do not mistake thee for a monkey some twilight when I have newly changed my coat"." We be of one blood, thou and I"Mowgli answered."My kill shall be thy kill if ever thou art hungry, O Kaa".The Python dropped his head lightly for a minute "A brave heart and a courteous tongue. They shall carry thee far through the jungle, manling".True today as ever;even jungles have a code of ethics.
The attraction of owning an exotic pet such as Kaa the powerful python is hard for the faint-hearted to understand. But the challenge of caring for and gaining the trust of a complex serpent or reptile has its own rewards for some. My Python visitor had severe fungal pneumonia which I was able to treat with oral liquid antibiotic medication. He had lost weight, lost his lustre and a caseous scum across nose and eyes indicated severe debilitation.I was able to sherlock holmes my way to tracing the source of this disease to inhalation of mold grown on straw, an inappropriate bedding for a snake in a humid tank.
The snake hadnt eaten in a month. "What does he normally eat?" I asked his young owner. "Rats, the biggest whole ones you can buy frozen and defrost!" replied the young fella in gleeful Dublinese.I suspect a more gothic fascination with serpentine habits may motivate some exotic pet owners. To give him his dues though, he was under no illusions about his snake's potency and expertly restrained the python with extreme care as I gave the first antibiotic dose.
Anthropomorphism is a phenomenon we see in pet owners all the time.It means the attribution of human motivation and behaviour to animals.In fairness to this Python owner he was in no way anthropomorphic about his snake.But apparently thousands of owners are killed every year by their own exotic pets. Trust is their fatal weakness. Mowgli too was guilty of anthropomorphism as he initially was attracted by the monkey-people who play all day. Later however he cried bitterly as he realized their treachery "All that Baloo has said about the Bandar-Log is true. They have no law, no hunting call, no leaders- nothing but foolish words and little pickish thieving hands. If I am starved or killed here, it will be all my own fault".Kipling, the Victorian moralist now sounding like a 21st century ecologist.
One of those urban myths of a veterinary nature which I heard once at a Vet's conference goes like this- a python owner in the states had a snake for years and it grew to twentysomething feet long, grew to trust its owner and she it.The snake spent long periods of time out of its tank until the owner eventually let the snake pretty much have the run of the house and go in or out of its tank when it wished. Anyway by the by,she would wake up in the morning and find the snake on her bed which was not the least disconcerting for her. Instead, as a person living alone she found it strangely comforting. One morning she found the snake lying alongside her, cheek to jowl in the bed and happened to tell her Vet this tale of snakely companionship.
The Vet was luckily experienced in the ways of the footless hunter. He spoke with sharp and sudden urgency" Get that Python out of your house and into care immediately. Do not enter your home to get that snake on your own!".Kaa the Python had coldly reasoned that the time had come.He had been measuring up his owner and biding his time, sizing her up to swallow her whole.We be of one blood you and I.But trust is a weakness!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Can you teach an old Dog New tricks?
The new show on MIDLANDS 103 FM on MONDAYS at 11.20 exposes me to more unvetted commentary than the radio coverage of George Lee's long goodbye. Yesterday's on air phone-in heard the case of the lady with four house cats, two male and two female, which were all neutered and of varying ages. Her problem was the particularly smelly and unhygienic case of the eldest male cat who insisted on coming indoors to relieve himself each day.
This behaviour is known as spraying and is normally a territory-marking habit of entire male cats. In this instance I surmise that this Tom was neutered too late for his characteristic male sexual behaviour to change.
My answer was simply not to tolerate this, to keep the cat outdoors, to prioritise the comfort and hygiene of your own home over the disrespectful moggy's egotistical territoriality. My motherin law who is a farmer with a commonsense innate knowledge of animal behaviour texted me after the show. Her solution to that lady's cat issues would involve the combination of an open back door, a large boot and a feline projectile. There is a time for diplomacy and a time for action to paraphrase Ian Paisley and King Solomon.
Speaking of old dogs and old cats and new tricks, an owner of two springer bitches lives across the road from the clinic in Portarlington. Yesterday morning before heading to Tullamore for the radio show I stitched a few nasty bite wounds on the older bitch of the two who is now being bullied by the other bitch, her former friend. These new hostilities began after bitch one had a litter of pups which are now all weaned and are some four months old. One could speculate on the reasons for the new fights.Perhaps it is jealousy or perhaps the younger bitch now wants to assume the alpha or dominant role. Undoubtedly the recent presence of the pups changed the dynamic between the pair.
Our client collected his bitch this morning and against our advice put the first one straight back into the yard with the aggressor. Ten minutes later he appeared back in the clinic with his bitch newly lacerated and standing in a pool of her own blood. More triage followed. Now the course of action will have to be separate yards, a new fence and a period of acclimitisation across the fence before these two can MAYBE become pals again. OR maybe not.
Speaking of acclimitisation and indeed decontamination, the Boy George was very naive to think his self-proclaimed talents would automatically gain him a controlling role at the centre of Oireachtas power. George was hardly fulsome in his compliments of any of his Dail colleagues in his work with RTE. More loose cannon than messiah, in my view George's high decibel indignation as a reporter did more harm to Ireland's foreign credibility than good over the last couple of years.Both his own political colleagues and other parties'were therefore bound to keep him at arms length for a while until he gained some allies or victories. In any organisation the new boy has to use his elbows, his diplomacy and due diligence to gain management's trust. Why would Fine Gael be any different to any working environment?
In the climate of hype and hyperbole that the national media perpetuate the other argument we hear is that " George's talents" should have been "used". To do what exactly and how? The fact is that George is one of many well-qualified economists in the country. Economics is an inexact science. In economics the right answer is often only evident after the fact. Many more qualified economists than George have proffered as many different opinions as there are PhDs out there on the world economic stage. To pull one lever of economic policy is often only as wrong or as right as the political philosophy underpinning the policy. Trade unions, banks, brokerages, as well as political parties all have economists as well qualified as George. The best place for George is behind a microphone- dont mistake that talent for political talent.
Richard Bruton is still there and holding his counsel. The one shining light of the current government has been the finance minister Mr Lenehan. It is however likely that Mr Bruton will be minister for finance in the next government.
The old dog for the hard road.
This behaviour is known as spraying and is normally a territory-marking habit of entire male cats. In this instance I surmise that this Tom was neutered too late for his characteristic male sexual behaviour to change.
My answer was simply not to tolerate this, to keep the cat outdoors, to prioritise the comfort and hygiene of your own home over the disrespectful moggy's egotistical territoriality. My motherin law who is a farmer with a commonsense innate knowledge of animal behaviour texted me after the show. Her solution to that lady's cat issues would involve the combination of an open back door, a large boot and a feline projectile. There is a time for diplomacy and a time for action to paraphrase Ian Paisley and King Solomon.
Speaking of old dogs and old cats and new tricks, an owner of two springer bitches lives across the road from the clinic in Portarlington. Yesterday morning before heading to Tullamore for the radio show I stitched a few nasty bite wounds on the older bitch of the two who is now being bullied by the other bitch, her former friend. These new hostilities began after bitch one had a litter of pups which are now all weaned and are some four months old. One could speculate on the reasons for the new fights.Perhaps it is jealousy or perhaps the younger bitch now wants to assume the alpha or dominant role. Undoubtedly the recent presence of the pups changed the dynamic between the pair.
Our client collected his bitch this morning and against our advice put the first one straight back into the yard with the aggressor. Ten minutes later he appeared back in the clinic with his bitch newly lacerated and standing in a pool of her own blood. More triage followed. Now the course of action will have to be separate yards, a new fence and a period of acclimitisation across the fence before these two can MAYBE become pals again. OR maybe not.
Speaking of acclimitisation and indeed decontamination, the Boy George was very naive to think his self-proclaimed talents would automatically gain him a controlling role at the centre of Oireachtas power. George was hardly fulsome in his compliments of any of his Dail colleagues in his work with RTE. More loose cannon than messiah, in my view George's high decibel indignation as a reporter did more harm to Ireland's foreign credibility than good over the last couple of years.Both his own political colleagues and other parties'were therefore bound to keep him at arms length for a while until he gained some allies or victories. In any organisation the new boy has to use his elbows, his diplomacy and due diligence to gain management's trust. Why would Fine Gael be any different to any working environment?
In the climate of hype and hyperbole that the national media perpetuate the other argument we hear is that " George's talents" should have been "used". To do what exactly and how? The fact is that George is one of many well-qualified economists in the country. Economics is an inexact science. In economics the right answer is often only evident after the fact. Many more qualified economists than George have proffered as many different opinions as there are PhDs out there on the world economic stage. To pull one lever of economic policy is often only as wrong or as right as the political philosophy underpinning the policy. Trade unions, banks, brokerages, as well as political parties all have economists as well qualified as George. The best place for George is behind a microphone- dont mistake that talent for political talent.
Richard Bruton is still there and holding his counsel. The one shining light of the current government has been the finance minister Mr Lenehan. It is however likely that Mr Bruton will be minister for finance in the next government.
The old dog for the hard road.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
ASK THE VET- ALL OVER THE MIDLANDS!
Its a few weeks since my last post on this site. But more regular commentary will resume now on a little and often basis as I begin an exciting new PETS CORNER feature on MIDLANDS RADIO 103 FM every second Monday at 11.20 am.
This mondays first show will feature a chat about coursing and stag hunting, the new animal legislation as well as on air phone-in.
KFM's VETSLOT continues to grow in popularity every friday at 11.05.
I plan now to use this site to raise issues and answer queries that arise on air each week.
This mondays first show will feature a chat about coursing and stag hunting, the new animal legislation as well as on air phone-in.
KFM's VETSLOT continues to grow in popularity every friday at 11.05.
I plan now to use this site to raise issues and answer queries that arise on air each week.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
FW: suggestion to help small business sector. Letter to Editor.
This letter was printed by the Irish Examiner on Sat 2nd Jan 2010. It attracted pages and pages of reaction, comment and vitriol on website the propertypin I was pleased to note!
Subject: FW: suggestion to help small business sector. Letter to Editor.
Sir,
What the country now needs is an OBAMA. I am not referring to a prescription for soundbite political leadership, but to an asset management agency for Ireland's small business sector aimed at encouraging job creation.
The Ordinary Business Asset Management Agency would manage non-performing property investments of SME owner-managers, with conditions attached to ensure job creation and economic stimulus.
The interest-only repayments on that 500,000 euro lonely shannonside holiday home or shuttered flaking provincial commercial unit being approximately 2500 euro per month, I would surrender that property, but not the liability, to OBAMA. In return I would be bound to spend that 2500 euro per month on wages and PRSI to REEMPLOY someone, to creat a job, to grow my business.
Morgan Kelly of UCD's recent paper on the Irish Credit Bubble states" The property related borrowings of the owners of smaller Irish companies are now an impediment to their companies' survival and may lead to large job losses as owners are forced into bankruptcy over losses in property speculation. The destruction of the Irish entrepreneurial class may prove one of the most enduring and costly consequences of the property bubble."
Entrepreneurs define themselves by the successes of their business ventures and would prioritise their business' survival IF given a choice. Entrepreneurs will take knocks and pick themselves up again time after time. That is the nature of the beast.
If business owners were freed from the constraints of paying back large mortgages for secondary properties, cash would transfuse the small to medium enterprise sector, fuel growth of Ireland's GNP and get the private sector back to work.
Des Groome,
Chairman of Kildare Chamber of Commerce.
Kilcumney House,
Kildare town.
New Windows 7: Simplify what you do everyday. Find the right PC for you.
Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Windows 7: Simplify what you do everyday. Find the right PC for you.
Subject: FW: suggestion to help small business sector. Letter to Editor.
Sir,
What the country now needs is an OBAMA. I am not referring to a prescription for soundbite political leadership, but to an asset management agency for Ireland's small business sector aimed at encouraging job creation.
The Ordinary Business Asset Management Agency would manage non-performing property investments of SME owner-managers, with conditions attached to ensure job creation and economic stimulus.
The interest-only repayments on that 500,000 euro lonely shannonside holiday home or shuttered flaking provincial commercial unit being approximately 2500 euro per month, I would surrender that property, but not the liability, to OBAMA. In return I would be bound to spend that 2500 euro per month on wages and PRSI to REEMPLOY someone, to creat a job, to grow my business.
Morgan Kelly of UCD's recent paper on the Irish Credit Bubble states" The property related borrowings of the owners of smaller Irish companies are now an impediment to their companies' survival and may lead to large job losses as owners are forced into bankruptcy over losses in property speculation. The destruction of the Irish entrepreneurial class may prove one of the most enduring and costly consequences of the property bubble."
Entrepreneurs define themselves by the successes of their business ventures and would prioritise their business' survival IF given a choice. Entrepreneurs will take knocks and pick themselves up again time after time. That is the nature of the beast.
If business owners were freed from the constraints of paying back large mortgages for secondary properties, cash would transfuse the small to medium enterprise sector, fuel growth of Ireland's GNP and get the private sector back to work.
Des Groome,
Chairman of Kildare Chamber of Commerce.
Kilcumney House,
Kildare town.
New Windows 7: Simplify what you do everyday. Find the right PC for you.
Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Windows 7: Simplify what you do everyday. Find the right PC for you.
FW: letter to editor, Banking Crisis.
This letter was printed in the Irish Independent on Monday 4th Jan. The bank crisis and corporate governance issue is one I will not let go of!
Sir,
An inquiry into the causes, culprits and consequences of the Irish Banking Crisis is necessary.
If indeed there were illegalities of corporate governance committed, the public must see the rule of law upheld if only to preserve the credibility of law and order itself.
If misdemeanours of imprudence or bad judgement were committed, the public would be reassured if the right people were shown to be "accountable" if only to preserve some credibility for a future banking system.
Any bank now asking ordinary creditors to put themselves under duress to honour loan liabilities must apply new standards and ethics to its own practices.
Mr Cowen is incorrect that a banking inquiry would weaken confidence on the international markets. A new style of corporate governance and financial regulation would reassure and stabilise markets.
A tribunal style banking inquiry would not be appropriate on cost grounds alone. However a cross party Oireachtas inquiry, chaired by an international and neutral figure should be considered. An EU inquiry into the entire eurozone's banking practices, past and future, might also be useful.
Public discourse on this issue needs to continue as the aims and format of such an inquiry would be crucial from the outset. A facebook page has been set up" Call to investigate the banking crisis". Our banks customers, depositors, shareholders and the nation's tax payers need a say in the banking system we want to have.
Des Groome,
Chairman Kildare Chamber of Commerce,
Kilcumney House,
Kildare.
New Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Sir,
An inquiry into the causes, culprits and consequences of the Irish Banking Crisis is necessary.
If indeed there were illegalities of corporate governance committed, the public must see the rule of law upheld if only to preserve the credibility of law and order itself.
If misdemeanours of imprudence or bad judgement were committed, the public would be reassured if the right people were shown to be "accountable" if only to preserve some credibility for a future banking system.
Any bank now asking ordinary creditors to put themselves under duress to honour loan liabilities must apply new standards and ethics to its own practices.
Mr Cowen is incorrect that a banking inquiry would weaken confidence on the international markets. A new style of corporate governance and financial regulation would reassure and stabilise markets.
A tribunal style banking inquiry would not be appropriate on cost grounds alone. However a cross party Oireachtas inquiry, chaired by an international and neutral figure should be considered. An EU inquiry into the entire eurozone's banking practices, past and future, might also be useful.
Public discourse on this issue needs to continue as the aims and format of such an inquiry would be crucial from the outset. A facebook page has been set up" Call to investigate the banking crisis". Our banks customers, depositors, shareholders and the nation's tax payers need a say in the banking system we want to have.
Des Groome,
Chairman Kildare Chamber of Commerce,
Kilcumney House,
Kildare.
New Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Bucking the Trend- how SMEs can beat the recession.
An often ignored fact is that small businesses are the largest group of employers in Ireland.These small businesses or SMEs, defined as companies with 50 or less employees,comprise the largest numerical group of tax payers in the state. The real question for our economy,given the current preoccupation with tax revenue, is how does a small to medium sized business grow during a downturn?
The advice from Harvard Business school on this subject is to "plan strategically to be primed for growth" when the upturn comes. Large corporations strategise for growth by investment in R and D. Translating to small business, this means figuring out what you are best at and then continuing to do it- but figure out how to do it better and cheaper.
Competition is still the name of the game.Recession is an opportune time to look at what your weakest and strongest competitors are doing. Learn from both.
If you have a strong market size, then scour the market place and learn about the customers of your weakest competitors.What are these customers seeking that you do NOT provide? Look also at your largest competitors. Are they managing to hold market share in recession? Can you emulate any aspect of their service to become a real alternative for THEIR customers?Your competitors may be working all out to save their big accounts but that means there are smaller accounts you can go after.
In this climate customers' criteria have altered.Many now only shop for low price.But many also want quality AND value. In a sense your business challenge will be to help customers have their cake AND eat it. To do that you will need to manage the trick of cutting your costs without compromising service to customers.
You might call this challenge the "not throwing the baby out with the bath water" challenge. But DO throw out your prior assumptions and embrace new business practices, products, habits as well as those new customers.
If you are a small player you CAN gain ground.Bigger firms tend to have higher costs.They may also have clients disillusioned with a customised service. Perhaps you can work closely with that client and provide the personalised service they need. If you are a smaller player you should have less overheads and for that reason competing on price may be an option.
One vital point is this: don't forget to focus on your own existing clients, if you want to buck the trend you have to increase your client base, but if you do this at the expense of your existing clients then you will have only filled a void rather than gained ground. If you find that you want to gain more clients ensure that you don't do so to the detriment of what you have already worked so hard for.
Cut costs and look at your suppliers. Do you have any critical suppliers? If so get binding contracts in place so that they don't pass on any woes to their client base.
Many Irish subsidiaries of global players have passed the burden of shouldering stock equity losses down the line to you and I. I had two large global suppliers try to pass on four percent increases in early 09.By the end of 09 both were offering two for one on the same stock.
Oil prices are going to affect logistics and if you are in that business having set contracts in place would make a huge difference.Having a contract doesn't mean much if people refuse to honour it, but at least you are starting from a position of strength. If any of your suppliers are in danger of collapse, then you need to look for alternative suppliers should they be required or find ways to work with the present ones given different scenarios.Do not become over-dependent on any one source or product line.
Look out for talent!This may be an opportunity to get great talent at a great price. If you can access the labour market right now you may be pleasantly surprised by just how much 'bang for your buck' you get. If cashflow is an issue think about ways of keeping your own talent on board. A downturn will often make people re-think their tenure; last years demotivated employee may have a changed attitude today. Remember also that your hungriest and best performer is open to poaching by a market rival in survival mode. The last thing you want to see is your best employee leave because they are disenchanted or insecure.
You may have let some staff go. You need those who are left to work harder and assume new skills or responsibilities. Perhaps you need to promote by stealth, with salespeople or general operatives sharing management duties. You cant expect them to see the light at the end of the tunnel which only you have the belief in your business to see.Therefore even your best people will become jittery unless you communicate your vision, your destination; the where and the when it will all end. Leadership is about that vision, but mostly about communication.NOW more than ever, strong leadership is the asset you must bring to your business.
Get into the public eye. Nothing gives greater return on investment than some publicity. If you can talk about your business topic, then pass some information or public interest stories on to radio or paper correspondents. The media have a difficult job to do. They have to take any amount of information and turn that into digestible stories that are of public interest.'Newsworthy' is probably more important than 'news'.
Smart spending is key. Finding ways to really control your outgoings is vital. In terms of some online presence, a blog is a great tool for attracting web traffic that is interested in your area of specialty. Other sites may link to you on that basis and when they do that will help drive more traffic towards your site.
Look at sites you like then learn from their good features. Ensure that your phone number is clearly visible on every page and that contacting you is very simple. Clear easily found contact details are a must. As well, if your product or service can be bought over the web ensure that the process is easy. Paypal are great for the SME adding a web sale dimension.
Perhaps the single most important message in all of this is to keep marketing. Try new things.It's never too late to change your business model or to find a new angle. This doesn't mean being the cheapest. In fact that race to the bottom is expensive and creates more losers than winners.Locally focussed advertising yields strong dividends over time. You may not be able to gauge the results. What is important is for your business to become part of the local fabric of your town or community by your constant low grade public presence. Name recognition is your aim which is, after all,the essence of branding
Examine your business closely and try to find out what it is about you that makes clients come to you. Then do that again and again. Who isn't in the service industry to some degree? Imagine you got a carpenter to do a small job in your house. He shows up on time, does the job, accepts credit card, cleans up after himself and even uses a hoover to make sure all the dust is gone. Would he/she go on your phone for future reference? You bet they would!
Downturns mean people are looking for bargains. If you have stock that hasn't moved, then sell it as low as cash flow allows and use this to generate traffic to your business.Cash flow is the name of the game. Choose a " pay on demand" client over a credit client every time. Unless you feel you must do a job on credit ias a loyal favour to a good old customer. But dont be too loyal.
ISME's quarterly surveys pinpoint delays in payment as a critical problem for SMEs. Banks have stripped away overdrafts from those who werent using them. If you were using your overdraft, even depending on it, you have probably had your core debt put on term loan. We all give each other too much credit.Consider inviting your client to use a credit card to pay you; MBNA are in the credit card business, you are not.
Its a peculiarly Irish problem as credit is not expected, taken for granted or abused in many other countries to the extent that it is here.
The global recession has thrown up a new paradigm of marketing for customer expectation.Marketing gurus have commented for a decade or so on the phenomenon of the customer jaded by mass production.The demand for personalisation of service should have given the smaller businesses a larger niche but instead the large multinationals expanded choice and personalised their marketing strategies to keep ahead.The internet also empowered some customers by giving both knowledge and control over price and choice. What the internet lacks is the thrill and immediacy of a personal purchase. Big business has kept ahead because the honeypot of convenience and perceived value has allowed them to influence consumers to purchase high value goods or services with the bait of marketed loss leaders.
The good news for SMEs is that a new paradigm of consumer power is now emerging to add to the other five forces of business.Research shows that consumers will now pick and choose what and where to buy by new discerning ctiteria:whatever your niche is, IF you shout from the rooftops about it you have a better chance than ever of YOUR customer bypassing that aisle in the supermarket to selectively purchase from YOU. Shoppers will choose Tesco for some things, LIDL for others and now more than ever the farmers market for others. The principle of consumer power works for every sector. If I dont answer that nuisance ten pm call, a competitor will; my customer is now less likely to wait for me to suit myself. The SME which chooses to embrace the pros and cons of consumer power, to grasp the new paradigm, can use its own strengths of service and attention to detail to thrive through and grow out of recession.
The advice from Harvard Business school on this subject is to "plan strategically to be primed for growth" when the upturn comes. Large corporations strategise for growth by investment in R and D. Translating to small business, this means figuring out what you are best at and then continuing to do it- but figure out how to do it better and cheaper.
Competition is still the name of the game.Recession is an opportune time to look at what your weakest and strongest competitors are doing. Learn from both.
If you have a strong market size, then scour the market place and learn about the customers of your weakest competitors.What are these customers seeking that you do NOT provide? Look also at your largest competitors. Are they managing to hold market share in recession? Can you emulate any aspect of their service to become a real alternative for THEIR customers?Your competitors may be working all out to save their big accounts but that means there are smaller accounts you can go after.
In this climate customers' criteria have altered.Many now only shop for low price.But many also want quality AND value. In a sense your business challenge will be to help customers have their cake AND eat it. To do that you will need to manage the trick of cutting your costs without compromising service to customers.
You might call this challenge the "not throwing the baby out with the bath water" challenge. But DO throw out your prior assumptions and embrace new business practices, products, habits as well as those new customers.
If you are a small player you CAN gain ground.Bigger firms tend to have higher costs.They may also have clients disillusioned with a customised service. Perhaps you can work closely with that client and provide the personalised service they need. If you are a smaller player you should have less overheads and for that reason competing on price may be an option.
One vital point is this: don't forget to focus on your own existing clients, if you want to buck the trend you have to increase your client base, but if you do this at the expense of your existing clients then you will have only filled a void rather than gained ground. If you find that you want to gain more clients ensure that you don't do so to the detriment of what you have already worked so hard for.
Cut costs and look at your suppliers. Do you have any critical suppliers? If so get binding contracts in place so that they don't pass on any woes to their client base.
Many Irish subsidiaries of global players have passed the burden of shouldering stock equity losses down the line to you and I. I had two large global suppliers try to pass on four percent increases in early 09.By the end of 09 both were offering two for one on the same stock.
Oil prices are going to affect logistics and if you are in that business having set contracts in place would make a huge difference.Having a contract doesn't mean much if people refuse to honour it, but at least you are starting from a position of strength. If any of your suppliers are in danger of collapse, then you need to look for alternative suppliers should they be required or find ways to work with the present ones given different scenarios.Do not become over-dependent on any one source or product line.
Look out for talent!This may be an opportunity to get great talent at a great price. If you can access the labour market right now you may be pleasantly surprised by just how much 'bang for your buck' you get. If cashflow is an issue think about ways of keeping your own talent on board. A downturn will often make people re-think their tenure; last years demotivated employee may have a changed attitude today. Remember also that your hungriest and best performer is open to poaching by a market rival in survival mode. The last thing you want to see is your best employee leave because they are disenchanted or insecure.
You may have let some staff go. You need those who are left to work harder and assume new skills or responsibilities. Perhaps you need to promote by stealth, with salespeople or general operatives sharing management duties. You cant expect them to see the light at the end of the tunnel which only you have the belief in your business to see.Therefore even your best people will become jittery unless you communicate your vision, your destination; the where and the when it will all end. Leadership is about that vision, but mostly about communication.NOW more than ever, strong leadership is the asset you must bring to your business.
Get into the public eye. Nothing gives greater return on investment than some publicity. If you can talk about your business topic, then pass some information or public interest stories on to radio or paper correspondents. The media have a difficult job to do. They have to take any amount of information and turn that into digestible stories that are of public interest.'Newsworthy' is probably more important than 'news'.
Smart spending is key. Finding ways to really control your outgoings is vital. In terms of some online presence, a blog is a great tool for attracting web traffic that is interested in your area of specialty. Other sites may link to you on that basis and when they do that will help drive more traffic towards your site.
Look at sites you like then learn from their good features. Ensure that your phone number is clearly visible on every page and that contacting you is very simple. Clear easily found contact details are a must. As well, if your product or service can be bought over the web ensure that the process is easy. Paypal are great for the SME adding a web sale dimension.
Perhaps the single most important message in all of this is to keep marketing. Try new things.It's never too late to change your business model or to find a new angle. This doesn't mean being the cheapest. In fact that race to the bottom is expensive and creates more losers than winners.Locally focussed advertising yields strong dividends over time. You may not be able to gauge the results. What is important is for your business to become part of the local fabric of your town or community by your constant low grade public presence. Name recognition is your aim which is, after all,the essence of branding
Examine your business closely and try to find out what it is about you that makes clients come to you. Then do that again and again. Who isn't in the service industry to some degree? Imagine you got a carpenter to do a small job in your house. He shows up on time, does the job, accepts credit card, cleans up after himself and even uses a hoover to make sure all the dust is gone. Would he/she go on your phone for future reference? You bet they would!
Downturns mean people are looking for bargains. If you have stock that hasn't moved, then sell it as low as cash flow allows and use this to generate traffic to your business.Cash flow is the name of the game. Choose a " pay on demand" client over a credit client every time. Unless you feel you must do a job on credit ias a loyal favour to a good old customer. But dont be too loyal.
ISME's quarterly surveys pinpoint delays in payment as a critical problem for SMEs. Banks have stripped away overdrafts from those who werent using them. If you were using your overdraft, even depending on it, you have probably had your core debt put on term loan. We all give each other too much credit.Consider inviting your client to use a credit card to pay you; MBNA are in the credit card business, you are not.
Its a peculiarly Irish problem as credit is not expected, taken for granted or abused in many other countries to the extent that it is here.
The global recession has thrown up a new paradigm of marketing for customer expectation.Marketing gurus have commented for a decade or so on the phenomenon of the customer jaded by mass production.The demand for personalisation of service should have given the smaller businesses a larger niche but instead the large multinationals expanded choice and personalised their marketing strategies to keep ahead.The internet also empowered some customers by giving both knowledge and control over price and choice. What the internet lacks is the thrill and immediacy of a personal purchase. Big business has kept ahead because the honeypot of convenience and perceived value has allowed them to influence consumers to purchase high value goods or services with the bait of marketed loss leaders.
The good news for SMEs is that a new paradigm of consumer power is now emerging to add to the other five forces of business.Research shows that consumers will now pick and choose what and where to buy by new discerning ctiteria:whatever your niche is, IF you shout from the rooftops about it you have a better chance than ever of YOUR customer bypassing that aisle in the supermarket to selectively purchase from YOU. Shoppers will choose Tesco for some things, LIDL for others and now more than ever the farmers market for others. The principle of consumer power works for every sector. If I dont answer that nuisance ten pm call, a competitor will; my customer is now less likely to wait for me to suit myself. The SME which chooses to embrace the pros and cons of consumer power, to grasp the new paradigm, can use its own strengths of service and attention to detail to thrive through and grow out of recession.
Monday, December 28, 2009
FW: letter to editor- Brian Cowen,
This letter was printed in the Sunday independent on 3rd Jan.
Not so much a defence of Cowen but a comment on the interviewer.
The indo carried a full page interview with An Taoiseach in which Brian Cowen to be fair was very straight talking and came across as a very human, modest, team-building type of manager. The sort who would probably be a safe pair of hands in any organisation. I happen to believe that his pace of decision making has been too slow for the gravity of situation the country has faced. I believe his responses to the horror and hypocrisy revealed by the Murphy report were far too lukewarm. I believe his ambivalence to the Corporate malgovernance at Anglo-Irish leaves a lot open to suspicion.BUT political journalists in this country have gotten far too opinionated in the last few years and scarcely disguise their partisan leanings at this stage. A fact that they collectively need to be challenged on.
This letter to the Sunday INdo hopefully does that...
Sir,
I refer to Sunday Independent 27/12/09, analysis p29.
Jody Corcoran's feature analysis on Brian Cowen's toughest year was indeed revealing, not for its insight into Cowen's philosophy of power broking but for its explanation of how a political journalist, such as Jody Corcoran, feels a politician should or shouldnt use the media.
Corcoran cites Cowen's leadership style as " the antithesis of grandstanding" and puts it to Cowen that maybe he should grandstand now and again " for effect".
Cowen replies that he leads as straight as he can and deals with "the substance of the issues and gets on with the job".
Corcoran's exasperation, evident through his line of questioning, seemed to be at Cowen's obliviousness to political spindoctoring, media impression and populist showman politics. I dont believe I have ever read a journalist ask (a politician) would behaving in a particular way not be better POLITICALLY for you?
Has the wheel of political journalism in this country come full circle? Since the advent of the printing press, media have criticised politicians in general for a lack of sincerity and conviction. Is Cowen now being criticised for NOT playing the game, not grandstanding, not spindoctoring?
Readers, voters, the public at large have a choice. Listen to or read what the man Cowen says and does. Or rely on the interpretation of an exasperated professional media needing a media friendly, impression-managed Taoiseach to suit their presentation of events.
Cowen may be his own worst enemy in the game of words and images, but he is nothing if not consistent. Remember the triumphant return to Clara after the Taoiseach's appointment? What was the song he sang on the back of the flatbed truck? "I did it my way"!
Des Groome,
Kilcumney House,
Kildare town.
Not so much a defence of Cowen but a comment on the interviewer.
The indo carried a full page interview with An Taoiseach in which Brian Cowen to be fair was very straight talking and came across as a very human, modest, team-building type of manager. The sort who would probably be a safe pair of hands in any organisation. I happen to believe that his pace of decision making has been too slow for the gravity of situation the country has faced. I believe his responses to the horror and hypocrisy revealed by the Murphy report were far too lukewarm. I believe his ambivalence to the Corporate malgovernance at Anglo-Irish leaves a lot open to suspicion.BUT political journalists in this country have gotten far too opinionated in the last few years and scarcely disguise their partisan leanings at this stage. A fact that they collectively need to be challenged on.
This letter to the Sunday INdo hopefully does that...
Sir,
I refer to Sunday Independent 27/12/09, analysis p29.
Jody Corcoran's feature analysis on Brian Cowen's toughest year was indeed revealing, not for its insight into Cowen's philosophy of power broking but for its explanation of how a political journalist, such as Jody Corcoran, feels a politician should or shouldnt use the media.
Corcoran cites Cowen's leadership style as " the antithesis of grandstanding" and puts it to Cowen that maybe he should grandstand now and again " for effect".
Cowen replies that he leads as straight as he can and deals with "the substance of the issues and gets on with the job".
Corcoran's exasperation, evident through his line of questioning, seemed to be at Cowen's obliviousness to political spindoctoring, media impression and populist showman politics. I dont believe I have ever read a journalist ask (a politician) would behaving in a particular way not be better POLITICALLY for you?
Has the wheel of political journalism in this country come full circle? Since the advent of the printing press, media have criticised politicians in general for a lack of sincerity and conviction. Is Cowen now being criticised for NOT playing the game, not grandstanding, not spindoctoring?
Readers, voters, the public at large have a choice. Listen to or read what the man Cowen says and does. Or rely on the interpretation of an exasperated professional media needing a media friendly, impression-managed Taoiseach to suit their presentation of events.
Cowen may be his own worst enemy in the game of words and images, but he is nothing if not consistent. Remember the triumphant return to Clara after the Taoiseach's appointment? What was the song he sang on the back of the flatbed truck? "I did it my way"!
Des Groome,
Kilcumney House,
Kildare town.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
FW:Call to Investigate the banking Crisis by oireachtas Committee
A young journalist named Gavin Sheridan keeps a weblog I follow, simply titled gavinsblog.com. Gavin has the tenacity, curiosity and hunger of a true investigative journalist. I dont agree with a lot of his political views. I suspect his vision of Ireland's future is of a society a lot more left-leaning and interventionist than my vision.I believe in a future ideal of an efficient, productive, food and technology driven, pro-enterprise and small-government, island. We are at the mercy of global economic tides. We are strategically positioned but on a global scale we are no more relevant than a filling station on the Mullingar bypass; It is our passing traffic and footfall that matters. Should we cease to give global travellers what they need they will keep moving to the next turnpike. Our economy is "open". What does this mean? It means we rely on imports and exports to give all of us the wherewithal to maintain a first world society. It is in that context that the analogy of Ireland as a global petrol station must be viewed. We have to adopt the flexibility and all the other characteristics of a small well-positioned business setting out our stall for passing trade.
Most of my posts are informed by this vision of Ireland's best future and by the view that we need to get more productive, get our people working usefully, use the assets we have of good land, good food and great entrepreneurs. THAT future of Ireland, the lean global trader depends on better corporate governance, accountability in public life, social pluralism and a state with moral as well as civil authority.
gavinsbolg 21/12/09 is worth a look. He catalogues a trail of investigative journalism into bad banking practice and irresponsible regulatory inaction tracing back to 2005.
I have set up a facebook page Call to investigate the Banking Crisis by Oireachtas Committee. I am sick of the party that I once felt an ideological affinity with, responding inadequately or equivocally to the moral ambiguities that have typified much of Ireland's social structures. Colloquially I have recently commented that the country needs to be now taken apart and rebuilt. In a manner of speaking I do believe that reforms of government, civil service, church, banking, corporate governance are now needed on a scale that will change the shape of an already rapidly changing society. These are reforms that need to be led by the moral, tolerant, Right-centred, decent and enterprising people of Irish society. have a look at my facebook page and join this debate.
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009 07:13:09 +0000
Subject:
From: gavinsblog@gmail.com
To: groomevet@hotmail.com
New Windows 7: Find the right PC for you. Learn more.
Most of my posts are informed by this vision of Ireland's best future and by the view that we need to get more productive, get our people working usefully, use the assets we have of good land, good food and great entrepreneurs. THAT future of Ireland, the lean global trader depends on better corporate governance, accountability in public life, social pluralism and a state with moral as well as civil authority.
gavinsbolg 21/12/09 is worth a look. He catalogues a trail of investigative journalism into bad banking practice and irresponsible regulatory inaction tracing back to 2005.
I have set up a facebook page Call to investigate the Banking Crisis by Oireachtas Committee. I am sick of the party that I once felt an ideological affinity with, responding inadequately or equivocally to the moral ambiguities that have typified much of Ireland's social structures. Colloquially I have recently commented that the country needs to be now taken apart and rebuilt. In a manner of speaking I do believe that reforms of government, civil service, church, banking, corporate governance are now needed on a scale that will change the shape of an already rapidly changing society. These are reforms that need to be led by the moral, tolerant, Right-centred, decent and enterprising people of Irish society. have a look at my facebook page and join this debate.
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009 07:13:09 +0000
Subject:
From: gavinsblog@gmail.com
To: groomevet@hotmail.com
| |
| The Regulator Posted: 21 Dec 2009 02:41 PM PST I don't want this post to seem like an "I told you so" post. But it might appear that way. I started irishcorruption.com/publicinquiry.eu back in 2005. One of the biggest issues myself and my uncle Anthony covered, and still cover on that blog, is the lack of regulation of the banks. And when the country was in a credit boom, and nobody, or at least very few, were asking questions about regulation of the banks, myself, and to a much deeper degree Anthony where highlighting this issue ad nauseum. Almost all of these posts were also copied to the office of the Financial Regulator. August 22, 2005 Toothless IFSRA August 25, 2005 Allied Irish Banks investigates itself September 28, 2005 Banana Republic October 10, 2005 Irish/Italian accountability November 15, 2005 The sheriff is not for the good guys December 13, 2005 Irish (Banks) Mafia December 23, 2005 Legal actions, dodgy dealings and resignations January 9, 2006 The (Irish financial) Wild West Show March 24, 2006 Still waiting for law enforcement March 26, 2006 Former AIB executives settle with Revenue for €323,313 June 7, 2006 Ireland – The Wild West of European finance August 1, 2006 Irish Financial Regulator – Bizarre and toothless August 2, 2006 Rampant corruption – rampant profits September 28, 2006 A corrupt state October 13, 2006 Bank robbers and bank robbers December 12, 2006 Failing to make connections December 14, 2006 Maintaining the illusion January 23, 2007 State contempt for consumers March 20, 2007 Irish Financial Regulator – Betraying the consumer April 4, 2007 The Financial Regulator, banks and credit unions April 25, 2007 Insider watchdog May 3, 2007 It's all in the mind June 17, 2007 AIB: Still ripping off customers with impunity June 13, 2007 Man of steel turns to straw August 23, 2007 A corrupt and secretive financial market August 21, 2007 Dublin – A conduit for dodgy deals? August 27, 2007 Dublin operation – A sloppily-run pig sty And that's just the first two years of blog posts. Never let anyone tell you that no one could have seen what was coming.        |
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Friday, December 11, 2009
The giant pool
This post is a speech I gave at Kildare Communicators last week. It is the true tale of the growth of the American credit system which led to the subprime crisis in the US. Reading this may put Ireland's economic fall from grace into global context. Acknowledgement to the US today show.
My story begins with the global pool of money. But where does it end? Bear with me. This, a giant global pool of all the money in the world contains all the pension funds, insurance funds, private savings. When my story begins, 1998, the global pool sums 36 trillion Dollars. Thats a million euro on the day of Christ's birth, a million the next day for you and every day since- with a couple of trillion left.
That giant pool is watched over nervously by an army of investors whose job it is to make it grow, to keep it safe.
Between 1998 and 2000, two things happened. First around 1998 the global pool of money began to grow very suddenly. All sorts of unexpected countries like Abu Dhabi, Korea, China began to globalise their money. second, Alan Greenspan, the head of the US fed reserve made a speech announcing that US government bonds would stay at 1%- very low interest- for a very long time.
Suddenly, that army of investors began to have more money than they knew what to do with and needed more SAFE places to put that money.
So- Wall Street created a new financial product called a mortgage backed security. What's safer than houses?
At this point I want to introduce you to the three Mikes.
The first Mike, Mike Soden, works for Bear Stern. He is an investment banker.He looks after the global pool of money. He buys mortgage securities with other people's money and nets his clients a few modest % return. It's safe as houses.
Next meet Mike Garder, head of silverstone Mortgage bank Nevada. They sell loans to people like you and I. They borrow millions from bigger wall street banks to sell us mortgages to buy houses. Then they take back the mortgages ,gather them together in bundles of 2 to 300 and sell them back to wall street in mortgage backed securities.
Before long Mike in Wall Street owns little pieces of thousands of mortgages sold by Mike in Nevada.
By 2003 everybody who qualified for a home loan OR already had one was in the pool. BUT Wall Street couldnt get enough of these mortgage backed securities.
So month by month guidelines got looser until Mike in Nevada says they were literally pulling people in off the street and offering them home loans.
Lets look at he different loan types-
First you had a verifed income, verified asset loan- a VIVA. Then you had a Stated income Verified asset loan- a SIVA.
These are triple AAAs.
But soon you just needed an accountants letter to get yourself a No income verified asset loan. Finally they started giving out the loan you know you are going to default on- the NINA ! NO income NO asset home loan!
You see it was a new era- banks didnt hold the loan for 30 years anymore. They just bundled them up into triple AAA securities and sold them back to Wall
Street.
Now you would be right to ask- Where was the regulator? and yes there were ratings agencies. But they had no DATA for these new loan types. They relied on historical DATA about how safe home loans WERE. They gave virtually all these securities triple AAA ratings. They were rated as safe as government bonds.
Year by year if Mike Garder doesnt give a guy a loan , the next broker will. If Mike Soden doesnt buy the latest scurities the next banker will.
Year by year market forces took over. But how do you turn a NINA- a No income loan which is set to default from day one- into a security?
Because they are not all triple AAA. You have double B and triple B in there as well. How do they fly?
Meet the third Mike. Mike Francis. Mike Francis runs Dynamic Finance, Ohio.
He buys some triple AAAs from Mike Garder. He buys a LOT of double BBs and a LOT of triple BBBs.
He grades them, values them, sorts them. Then he shuffles them.
He splits them into bundles of 2to300 called tranches to create a new financial product, a new type of "security".
They are called collateralised debt obligations. CDOs. And Wall Street cant get enough of them.
Because by this stage the global pool of money had reached 70 trillion.
Some of these loans are ToXic Waste. But Mike Francis is an alchemist. He turns bad loans into good securities. Bad money into Good.
Mike Francis is an alchemist. But by the end of 2005 you could almost smell the sulphur.
Meanwhile Mike Soden in Wall Street watches his screen every day and all these securities and all these CDOs perform. Nobody misses a payment. Mike sends his investors a little dividend every month and everyones happy. These are Performing Loans.
But Mike now admits it was the triumph of Data over common sense.
Because by mid 2006 the average American home loan was over 4.5 times the average American annual salary. That ratio historically used to be 2.5. A leverage of 2.5 is the ratio you and I are safely able to pay back. Mike says what Wall Street didnt know was that the toxic loans hidden in the CDOs were propped up in the malls and on the high street by another loan product- the home equity credit line. People were taking out another loan to pay their mortgage. Now that didnt matter as long as house prices kept rising because we are all property speculators by this stage. You are going to sell the house next year anyway!
But by mid 2006 house prices reached a critical level and stopped rising. House sales faltered. The loans stopped moving.
Mike says he remembers the day it happened, just before Halloween 2006. Some of the numbers on his screen started to blip. Some repayments were missed.
Mike's boss said" would you look at that.... What are the fed offering on bonds today?"
Wall Street stopped buying CDOs and securities. Mike Francis in Ohio was stuck with a load of CDOs. He packed up his chemistry set and stopped buying loans from Mike Garder.
There followed a winter of discontent as the cycle of lend-speculate slowly ground to a halt.
Mike Garder in Nevada was stuck with a load of mortgages and soon keys started coming in the door. No one was buying homes even if you did repossess as home owners here and there began to default.
Around february 07 when the bank itself defaulted on a couple of big repayments to Citibank, Silverstone Bank Nevada declared itself bankrupt.
Staff were told and then people began to literally wheel photocopiers out the door.
Mike says his boss called it the valentines day massacre.
To everyone else it was the subprime crisis.
Mike Francis in Dynamic Finance, Ohio, who had split up and sold on shares in some 16 million home loans simply filled in all the paperwork, sent it to Wall Street and pulled the door closed behind him.
By mid 07 the language changed. They stopped referring to it as a subprime crisis. The problem became known as a CREDIT crisis.
This is because Mike and the rest of Wall Street had lost half the global pool of money.
They have been badly stung and their investors are mad as hell.
So now they want NO RISK. Suddenly government bonds at 1% look very attractive again. Suddenly no one wants to lend.
This is why Hungary, Turkey and lots of other places are paying 15% and Ireland's interest rate is rising rapidly also.
We are mixed right up in it because the trail of CDOs reaches all the way to OUR banks who borrowed and hedged and sold on securities, who used securities AS security on risky Dublin site sales. A trail that culminated in a late night phone call to the minister for Finance in September 08.
My three Mikes, NOT the three wise Mikes, are my seasonal tale of the decade.
To put this into perspective, this IS where we are. Its NOT the great depression. Wall Street says its more like back to the 70s.
We are stuck in neutral for a while. You can take Uriah Heep's view- he was Charles Dickens fictional stingy accountant- " Happiness is a surplus, misery is a deficit" OR you can hold onto my final word from the Dalai Lama
" This world is not perfect. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope. "
END
My story begins with the global pool of money. But where does it end? Bear with me. This, a giant global pool of all the money in the world contains all the pension funds, insurance funds, private savings. When my story begins, 1998, the global pool sums 36 trillion Dollars. Thats a million euro on the day of Christ's birth, a million the next day for you and every day since- with a couple of trillion left.
That giant pool is watched over nervously by an army of investors whose job it is to make it grow, to keep it safe.
Between 1998 and 2000, two things happened. First around 1998 the global pool of money began to grow very suddenly. All sorts of unexpected countries like Abu Dhabi, Korea, China began to globalise their money. second, Alan Greenspan, the head of the US fed reserve made a speech announcing that US government bonds would stay at 1%- very low interest- for a very long time.
Suddenly, that army of investors began to have more money than they knew what to do with and needed more SAFE places to put that money.
So- Wall Street created a new financial product called a mortgage backed security. What's safer than houses?
At this point I want to introduce you to the three Mikes.
The first Mike, Mike Soden, works for Bear Stern. He is an investment banker.He looks after the global pool of money. He buys mortgage securities with other people's money and nets his clients a few modest % return. It's safe as houses.
Next meet Mike Garder, head of silverstone Mortgage bank Nevada. They sell loans to people like you and I. They borrow millions from bigger wall street banks to sell us mortgages to buy houses. Then they take back the mortgages ,gather them together in bundles of 2 to 300 and sell them back to wall street in mortgage backed securities.
Before long Mike in Wall Street owns little pieces of thousands of mortgages sold by Mike in Nevada.
By 2003 everybody who qualified for a home loan OR already had one was in the pool. BUT Wall Street couldnt get enough of these mortgage backed securities.
So month by month guidelines got looser until Mike in Nevada says they were literally pulling people in off the street and offering them home loans.
Lets look at he different loan types-
First you had a verifed income, verified asset loan- a VIVA. Then you had a Stated income Verified asset loan- a SIVA.
These are triple AAAs.
But soon you just needed an accountants letter to get yourself a No income verified asset loan. Finally they started giving out the loan you know you are going to default on- the NINA ! NO income NO asset home loan!
You see it was a new era- banks didnt hold the loan for 30 years anymore. They just bundled them up into triple AAA securities and sold them back to Wall
Street.
Now you would be right to ask- Where was the regulator? and yes there were ratings agencies. But they had no DATA for these new loan types. They relied on historical DATA about how safe home loans WERE. They gave virtually all these securities triple AAA ratings. They were rated as safe as government bonds.
Year by year if Mike Garder doesnt give a guy a loan , the next broker will. If Mike Soden doesnt buy the latest scurities the next banker will.
Year by year market forces took over. But how do you turn a NINA- a No income loan which is set to default from day one- into a security?
Because they are not all triple AAA. You have double B and triple B in there as well. How do they fly?
Meet the third Mike. Mike Francis. Mike Francis runs Dynamic Finance, Ohio.
He buys some triple AAAs from Mike Garder. He buys a LOT of double BBs and a LOT of triple BBBs.
He grades them, values them, sorts them. Then he shuffles them.
He splits them into bundles of 2to300 called tranches to create a new financial product, a new type of "security".
They are called collateralised debt obligations. CDOs. And Wall Street cant get enough of them.
Because by this stage the global pool of money had reached 70 trillion.
Some of these loans are ToXic Waste. But Mike Francis is an alchemist. He turns bad loans into good securities. Bad money into Good.
Mike Francis is an alchemist. But by the end of 2005 you could almost smell the sulphur.
Meanwhile Mike Soden in Wall Street watches his screen every day and all these securities and all these CDOs perform. Nobody misses a payment. Mike sends his investors a little dividend every month and everyones happy. These are Performing Loans.
But Mike now admits it was the triumph of Data over common sense.
Because by mid 2006 the average American home loan was over 4.5 times the average American annual salary. That ratio historically used to be 2.5. A leverage of 2.5 is the ratio you and I are safely able to pay back. Mike says what Wall Street didnt know was that the toxic loans hidden in the CDOs were propped up in the malls and on the high street by another loan product- the home equity credit line. People were taking out another loan to pay their mortgage. Now that didnt matter as long as house prices kept rising because we are all property speculators by this stage. You are going to sell the house next year anyway!
But by mid 2006 house prices reached a critical level and stopped rising. House sales faltered. The loans stopped moving.
Mike says he remembers the day it happened, just before Halloween 2006. Some of the numbers on his screen started to blip. Some repayments were missed.
Mike's boss said" would you look at that.... What are the fed offering on bonds today?"
Wall Street stopped buying CDOs and securities. Mike Francis in Ohio was stuck with a load of CDOs. He packed up his chemistry set and stopped buying loans from Mike Garder.
There followed a winter of discontent as the cycle of lend-speculate slowly ground to a halt.
Mike Garder in Nevada was stuck with a load of mortgages and soon keys started coming in the door. No one was buying homes even if you did repossess as home owners here and there began to default.
Around february 07 when the bank itself defaulted on a couple of big repayments to Citibank, Silverstone Bank Nevada declared itself bankrupt.
Staff were told and then people began to literally wheel photocopiers out the door.
Mike says his boss called it the valentines day massacre.
To everyone else it was the subprime crisis.
Mike Francis in Dynamic Finance, Ohio, who had split up and sold on shares in some 16 million home loans simply filled in all the paperwork, sent it to Wall Street and pulled the door closed behind him.
By mid 07 the language changed. They stopped referring to it as a subprime crisis. The problem became known as a CREDIT crisis.
This is because Mike and the rest of Wall Street had lost half the global pool of money.
They have been badly stung and their investors are mad as hell.
So now they want NO RISK. Suddenly government bonds at 1% look very attractive again. Suddenly no one wants to lend.
This is why Hungary, Turkey and lots of other places are paying 15% and Ireland's interest rate is rising rapidly also.
We are mixed right up in it because the trail of CDOs reaches all the way to OUR banks who borrowed and hedged and sold on securities, who used securities AS security on risky Dublin site sales. A trail that culminated in a late night phone call to the minister for Finance in September 08.
My three Mikes, NOT the three wise Mikes, are my seasonal tale of the decade.
To put this into perspective, this IS where we are. Its NOT the great depression. Wall Street says its more like back to the 70s.
We are stuck in neutral for a while. You can take Uriah Heep's view- he was Charles Dickens fictional stingy accountant- " Happiness is a surplus, misery is a deficit" OR you can hold onto my final word from the Dalai Lama
" This world is not perfect. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope. "
END
Friday, November 27, 2009
FW: Kildare Chamber of Commerce , letter to editor.
This weeks entry is another passionate plea for the rural economy!
From: groomevet@hotmail.com
To: editor@kildare-nationalist.ie
Subject: Kildare Chamber of Commerce , letter to editor.
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:10:13 +0000
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From: groomevet@hotmail.com
To: editor@kildare-nationalist.ie
Subject: Kildare Chamber of Commerce , letter to editor.
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:10:13 +0000
Dear Editor,
How do you persuade people that saving a few Euro on the Christmas Nintendo and Booze is the wrong thing to do? You cant- its only possible to fight fire with fire and fight a price war on price.
Throughout 2009 the small and medium business sector has cut prices, cut costs and adopted lean and innovative survival skills to keep the door to commerce open. Almost every business in Kildare, including mine, has made workers redundant, merged job descriptions, and added to the queues of the unemployed.
Those who remain in work are working longer and are filling broader roles. 40 hour jobs are cut to 32 and evenings or Saturdays are now worked without complaint. The private sector are now very close to the vision of the improved competitive economy which the ESRI and McCarthy report recommended.
Yet the queues northward get longer as we near Christmas. The local economy which is currently holding out for an upturn in trade will shed more jobs in the New Year if trade remains flat throughout Christmas.
Kildare Chamber of Commerce organised and funded an extended shop local campaign this year featuring a soldier fighting to keep Private Euro in our local economy and featuring the iconic uncle Sam's patriotic recruiting message "I want You" (to spend euros locally).
Any effective shop local campaign needs to achieve three aims. The first aim is to convince consumers that support for local business is essential to community life. The second is to inform shoppers of the value on offer locally and fight the myth that small local shops are dearer. The third aim of persuading businesses to provide better value can be achieved by rallying businesses into a group loyalty scheme, discount scheme or innovative PR campaign.
Kildare has everything to offer. A well stocked man's shop on the square with hidden discounts and Italian suits that could come from Louis Copeland. The everything shop on Station Road which challenges you to find cheaper. Christmas shops and pet shops and gift shops fly the flag for enterprise and service. Kildare farm foods have bigger and better turkeys than a Eurovision Semi-final. Retailers now compete transparently on price. Pubs and Restaurants now give group deals and two/three course specials so that no one should have reason to party out of town.
I am blowing the trumpet for Kildare. But there isn't a town in the county now that hasn't got it's act together and blown off the complacency and excesses of the so-called tiger decade. In my line of work I see plenty of Garfields. The Celtic Garfield is using up her nine lives and rapidly turning lean and fit for business.
We can win the economic battle, if we spend our hard earned euro at home. But if another half billion leaves the southern Irish economy in 2010, as it has so far in 2009, we can all play the blame game together on the dole queue.
Des Groome,
Chairman, Kildare Chamber of Commerce.
Kildare Vet Surgery,
Kildare Town.
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Thursday, November 19, 2009
Take a walk on the wild side
Exotic pets are a growing niche market in the Irish pet owning sector. We now see a greater range of species than ever before in our clinics. Rabbits are an easy starter pet for a family of young children. Parrots can be entertaining companions, in particular the African Grey which is a social, talkative and easily handled bird. These are great mimics and pick up swear words because their ear picks up the words we emphasise when speaking.
Fish are perceived as low maintenance pets and will be low maintenance when the set-up is right.
Hamsters, Gerbils, Guinea pigs can all be bought in pet shops along with the hutch, cage, beding, toys, food, drinker and often a care guide. They also rarely need to see a Vet.
Snakes and reptiles require a special interest and background learning. From Terrarium to feeding habits you will need to know what to do before you leave the shop.
Aquatic turtles and terrapins can come small but rapidly will out grow a small tank.
Outdoor tortoises are as of yet rarely seen in Ireland.
Tomorrows VETSLOT on midlands 103 at 10.45 followed by KFM's PETSLOT at 11.05 will deal exclusively with the exotics phenomenon tomorrow. TUNE IN
Fish are perceived as low maintenance pets and will be low maintenance when the set-up is right.
Hamsters, Gerbils, Guinea pigs can all be bought in pet shops along with the hutch, cage, beding, toys, food, drinker and often a care guide. They also rarely need to see a Vet.
Snakes and reptiles require a special interest and background learning. From Terrarium to feeding habits you will need to know what to do before you leave the shop.
Aquatic turtles and terrapins can come small but rapidly will out grow a small tank.
Outdoor tortoises are as of yet rarely seen in Ireland.
Tomorrows VETSLOT on midlands 103 at 10.45 followed by KFM's PETSLOT at 11.05 will deal exclusively with the exotics phenomenon tomorrow. TUNE IN
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Tigers, Leopards and political animals...
The circus has left town but animals of the mythological variety, the bearded barking, as well as the purring nine-lived variety still occcupy centre stage in the 2009 pantomime of Irish life.
The Celtic tiger is to blame for the whole thing of course. A once sleek and fit for purpose feline which started life as a lean sophistocat with an engine that purred like an Asian car plant. Softly- padded and sure of foot, the tiger negotiated Brussels bureaux and summit tables and always got the cream. The tiger had circus high wire skills. The tiger deftly walked the tight rope of fiscal generosity for a decade and relied only on the safety net of property taxes. A safety net which the circus ring masters of global banking dismantled. An extended cast of bull markets and bear traders grace the stage alongside pantomime characters with unlikely names like fannie mae, freddie mac and the biggest villian of all; seanie fitz.
The celtic tiger had many litters. But the tiger cubs were too well fed. This now presents all sorts of problems for the tiger herself. Firstly the cubs are now too costly to feed. Secondly, like many kittens who have never needed to learn to hunt, their teeth and claws are not fit for the pecking order of the global jungle. Which now means they are too difficult to rehome. The ailing tiger herself has lost a few lives, though strong survival instincts have activated chameleon qualities; proud euro-spots grown to show monsieur trichet et les autres bureauchats. Stars and stripes on the soft furry underbelly of the celtic tiger, turned purring Garfield, to show Top Cat Uncle Obama.
The tiger is now unrecognizable. Not merely a domestic long hair in need of a financial haircut, nor is she simply a leopard losing spots, nor a fat cat shedding toxic fluffy equity. Now, battered and one-eyed, the still game tiger is growling defiantly as she awaits 77bn euro surgery.
SPVs ( special purpose vets) and spindoctors are working to amputate her gangrenous and clubbed construction limb. Eurochats in the waiting room lap up watery stimulus packages as they watch the tricky surgery. Sagely, these mandarins all agree with the consensus that the tiger must grow a few diversified extra limbs if she rises phoenix-like from the bonfire of the celtic vanities. Former memories of the once proud tiger may soon belong to mythology. Consigned to cautionary nursery tales, like the one-eyed yellow idol on the pass at Kathmandu and Macavity the mystery cat.
The tiger cubs continue to cause trouble. These toothless kittens were reared on a diet of tuna, sardines and cream. The fluffy malcontents are growling in the alleys as they face cheaper kit e kat and lidl kibbles. Even Alberts famous high end pet food factory burned to the ground as the circus left town. Defiantly the cubs soiled their own litter trays and turned their tails on Lisbon one. Returning a no vote to the urbane eurochats was understandably seen as biting the hands that fed them. Mercifully, the cubs put tail between their legs and accepted what was on offer the next time.
Now that the circus has left town the story tellers of media have unleashed a whole host of other circus animals.Lisbon one began as serious cliff hanger. There was a brief cameo by neo-con Libertas Eagle. But no twist in the tale this time as radical tail failed to wag the dogged consensus!The NAMA factor featured a battle scene with thorny birds Joan of ArkBurton and Prince Richard the brut-on against assorted shylocks, fatcats and soldiers of destiny. By now tired and bloated, the Fianna sought the salmon of knowledge through the NAMA debate as the Druids read the tea leaves.
Tangential subplots amused the worn audience. The Bull ODonoghue and his crock of gold; the old bull was just full of bull as limousines and party hats and cheltenham horses trotted across stage. The bull mistook his invisibility cloak for an invincibility cloak as the media pursued him into the owner's and trainer's bar at Listowel. The Ceann Comhairle, no longer sacred cow, was gleefully butchered.
Through all the caricature slow starter and dark horse Lenihan has refused typecasting.
The budget is now looming and defies panto scriptwriters.The outcome depends on Dark horse Lenihan, heavily handicapped, hobbled yet determined as the remaining circus animals jockey for position. Cue left, the last creature of the tiger era emerges to do battle. The slowest and largest animal will trumpet the final act towards curtain fall and hopeful sequel. Costs must fall, productivity must rise, overtime must be cut, services must deliver value. Pigs might fly. Take a bow Lenihan and face the elephant in the corner!
The Celtic tiger is to blame for the whole thing of course. A once sleek and fit for purpose feline which started life as a lean sophistocat with an engine that purred like an Asian car plant. Softly- padded and sure of foot, the tiger negotiated Brussels bureaux and summit tables and always got the cream. The tiger had circus high wire skills. The tiger deftly walked the tight rope of fiscal generosity for a decade and relied only on the safety net of property taxes. A safety net which the circus ring masters of global banking dismantled. An extended cast of bull markets and bear traders grace the stage alongside pantomime characters with unlikely names like fannie mae, freddie mac and the biggest villian of all; seanie fitz.
The celtic tiger had many litters. But the tiger cubs were too well fed. This now presents all sorts of problems for the tiger herself. Firstly the cubs are now too costly to feed. Secondly, like many kittens who have never needed to learn to hunt, their teeth and claws are not fit for the pecking order of the global jungle. Which now means they are too difficult to rehome. The ailing tiger herself has lost a few lives, though strong survival instincts have activated chameleon qualities; proud euro-spots grown to show monsieur trichet et les autres bureauchats. Stars and stripes on the soft furry underbelly of the celtic tiger, turned purring Garfield, to show Top Cat Uncle Obama.
The tiger is now unrecognizable. Not merely a domestic long hair in need of a financial haircut, nor is she simply a leopard losing spots, nor a fat cat shedding toxic fluffy equity. Now, battered and one-eyed, the still game tiger is growling defiantly as she awaits 77bn euro surgery.
SPVs ( special purpose vets) and spindoctors are working to amputate her gangrenous and clubbed construction limb. Eurochats in the waiting room lap up watery stimulus packages as they watch the tricky surgery. Sagely, these mandarins all agree with the consensus that the tiger must grow a few diversified extra limbs if she rises phoenix-like from the bonfire of the celtic vanities. Former memories of the once proud tiger may soon belong to mythology. Consigned to cautionary nursery tales, like the one-eyed yellow idol on the pass at Kathmandu and Macavity the mystery cat.
The tiger cubs continue to cause trouble. These toothless kittens were reared on a diet of tuna, sardines and cream. The fluffy malcontents are growling in the alleys as they face cheaper kit e kat and lidl kibbles. Even Alberts famous high end pet food factory burned to the ground as the circus left town. Defiantly the cubs soiled their own litter trays and turned their tails on Lisbon one. Returning a no vote to the urbane eurochats was understandably seen as biting the hands that fed them. Mercifully, the cubs put tail between their legs and accepted what was on offer the next time.
Now that the circus has left town the story tellers of media have unleashed a whole host of other circus animals.Lisbon one began as serious cliff hanger. There was a brief cameo by neo-con Libertas Eagle. But no twist in the tale this time as radical tail failed to wag the dogged consensus!The NAMA factor featured a battle scene with thorny birds Joan of ArkBurton and Prince Richard the brut-on against assorted shylocks, fatcats and soldiers of destiny. By now tired and bloated, the Fianna sought the salmon of knowledge through the NAMA debate as the Druids read the tea leaves.
Tangential subplots amused the worn audience. The Bull ODonoghue and his crock of gold; the old bull was just full of bull as limousines and party hats and cheltenham horses trotted across stage. The bull mistook his invisibility cloak for an invincibility cloak as the media pursued him into the owner's and trainer's bar at Listowel. The Ceann Comhairle, no longer sacred cow, was gleefully butchered.
Through all the caricature slow starter and dark horse Lenihan has refused typecasting.
The budget is now looming and defies panto scriptwriters.The outcome depends on Dark horse Lenihan, heavily handicapped, hobbled yet determined as the remaining circus animals jockey for position. Cue left, the last creature of the tiger era emerges to do battle. The slowest and largest animal will trumpet the final act towards curtain fall and hopeful sequel. Costs must fall, productivity must rise, overtime must be cut, services must deliver value. Pigs might fly. Take a bow Lenihan and face the elephant in the corner!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Mysteries of the animal kingdom!
As the bearded brethren and their misguided trade union membership march the streets of Dublin this afternoon I write to distract, entertain and perhaps even inform. I could fill the blogosphere with an angry tirade against the self-serving greed of the Trade Union Leaders who negotiated improbable pay rises for their members every year under the social partnership. I could echo the analysis of every economist that pay cuts are needed now to rebalance an overheated economy. I could opine that our inflated scale of wages, cost of energy and cost of consumer goods will all fall by deflation if prices and business costs could only start to fall now in balanced equitable fashion. But better political minds than mine have analysed the empty treasure chest of Irelands credit plunder to reach the same conclusions.
I have begun this October an MA in Communications in DCU which I am finding deeply rewarding and diverse after a decade in the trenches of animal health care. A colourful, bohemian and bearded Professor of journalism whose lectures I attend said that angry little epistles belong on the blogosphere but facts speak for themselves. I will let the economic facts speak then and may the rain spill on the marchers! Forearmed in future with formal communications skills I hope to maintain the upper hand in jousts with Clem Ryan on my Friday morning KFM VetSlot. This afternoon I would like to cover questions we didnt get to answer this morning and, with apologies to dear frankie, answers I would love to give- but cant- on air;
Mary from Coill Dubh has a sheepdog with an itchy ear and is wondering what Des would suggest-
Well Mary I would suggest you bring the poor dog to a Vet. Contrary to popular belief these things dont get better being watched. Otodectes Cyanotis or ear mites left untreated can render your dog deafer than a snoozing monsignor, more lobsided than a PPP negotiation and with bigger cauliflower ears than Paul OConnell.
Pauline in Nurney has a goldfish that seems to be turning white and she is wondering what is wrong with him?
Pauline, your goldfish is faced with an identity crisis more serious than a Towers man who togs out for Ellistown and a questioning of his raison d'etre on a par with that of the Moorefield man who crosses town to Sarsfields.Clearly a Goldfish needs to be golden. Jacksonesque colour-change is as good a reason as any to visit your local struggling Vet.
Ann in Kildare's son wants pet mice and she is wondering are they difficult to look after?
Ann! Yes they are difficult to look after, never more so than when they make a break for freedom and discover the cosy sanctuary of your back kitchen. Send your son up to me for a few saturdays to figure out what type of pet he really wants.
Margaret just had a baby and her terrier that she has for about five years seems to be very jealous and is always trying to jump up on her when she's holding the baby and keeps barking at the baby. What can she do?
Margaret, Your terrier is deeply psychotic and determined to check out just how closely baby flesh resembles the taste of chicken. Your terrier invisages a baby free resumption of the status quo where he will have you to himself again under the assumption that eaten baby is soon forgotten. Your dog is five plus. Professional dog trainers can teach old dogs new tricks- but you havent a chance of doing so. Its gonna be either the terrier or the baby- not exactly a dilemma of Solomon-like proportions.
Remember folks- your pet is a member of the family- but not a human member!
I have begun this October an MA in Communications in DCU which I am finding deeply rewarding and diverse after a decade in the trenches of animal health care. A colourful, bohemian and bearded Professor of journalism whose lectures I attend said that angry little epistles belong on the blogosphere but facts speak for themselves. I will let the economic facts speak then and may the rain spill on the marchers! Forearmed in future with formal communications skills I hope to maintain the upper hand in jousts with Clem Ryan on my Friday morning KFM VetSlot. This afternoon I would like to cover questions we didnt get to answer this morning and, with apologies to dear frankie, answers I would love to give- but cant- on air;
Mary from Coill Dubh has a sheepdog with an itchy ear and is wondering what Des would suggest-
Well Mary I would suggest you bring the poor dog to a Vet. Contrary to popular belief these things dont get better being watched. Otodectes Cyanotis or ear mites left untreated can render your dog deafer than a snoozing monsignor, more lobsided than a PPP negotiation and with bigger cauliflower ears than Paul OConnell.
Pauline in Nurney has a goldfish that seems to be turning white and she is wondering what is wrong with him?
Pauline, your goldfish is faced with an identity crisis more serious than a Towers man who togs out for Ellistown and a questioning of his raison d'etre on a par with that of the Moorefield man who crosses town to Sarsfields.Clearly a Goldfish needs to be golden. Jacksonesque colour-change is as good a reason as any to visit your local struggling Vet.
Ann in Kildare's son wants pet mice and she is wondering are they difficult to look after?
Ann! Yes they are difficult to look after, never more so than when they make a break for freedom and discover the cosy sanctuary of your back kitchen. Send your son up to me for a few saturdays to figure out what type of pet he really wants.
Margaret just had a baby and her terrier that she has for about five years seems to be very jealous and is always trying to jump up on her when she's holding the baby and keeps barking at the baby. What can she do?
Margaret, Your terrier is deeply psychotic and determined to check out just how closely baby flesh resembles the taste of chicken. Your terrier invisages a baby free resumption of the status quo where he will have you to himself again under the assumption that eaten baby is soon forgotten. Your dog is five plus. Professional dog trainers can teach old dogs new tricks- but you havent a chance of doing so. Its gonna be either the terrier or the baby- not exactly a dilemma of Solomon-like proportions.
Remember folks- your pet is a member of the family- but not a human member!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Commercial Announcement- Pet Food!
Last October Interchem, who are based locally near Naas came to me with a new range of Dogfood called PROPAK. Their timing was perfect as I had resolved to seek an alternative specialist range of food to recommend to clients. We had stocked royal canin for four years previously but I just found their 4% price increase last Oct to be the last straw and knew I could no longer promote over-priced product to clients in the year ahead. I gave the PROPAK range a trial and have had no regrets since.
PROPAK have a diet to meet any dogs need, whether it is a medical need, a breed requirement, or a special need of growth or pregnancy. The colour coded range comes in a range of sizes to suit any size of dog and owner's pocket. The puppy trial size is especially popular.
We retail PROPAK at 40 to 50 % cheaper than any other specialist food range.
I can Guarantee also that you will not find PROPAK cheaper in the county.
As Vets we stand over PROPAK and are using this diet range successfully to manage diabetes, obesity, pancreatitis, irritable bowel disease and dermatitis.
Moreover we will always support local providers when we have an opportunity to do so.
You can buy your food at rock bottom discount on our website using paypal
PROPAK have a diet to meet any dogs need, whether it is a medical need, a breed requirement, or a special need of growth or pregnancy. The colour coded range comes in a range of sizes to suit any size of dog and owner's pocket. The puppy trial size is especially popular.
We retail PROPAK at 40 to 50 % cheaper than any other specialist food range.
I can Guarantee also that you will not find PROPAK cheaper in the county.
As Vets we stand over PROPAK and are using this diet range successfully to manage diabetes, obesity, pancreatitis, irritable bowel disease and dermatitis.
Moreover we will always support local providers when we have an opportunity to do so.
You can buy your food at rock bottom discount on our website using paypal
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